Facing the Wall
Can I face this wall alone,
this fibrous dim catastrophe,
that clutches at my breath
and fills my lungs with rabid death,
as if I am just meat for the feast.
Does it think it knows me better,
to find my inner secrets and resolve
and dissolve all that I am,
on a premise, a chemical impasse
that will see my eyes glazed and dull.
It is malevolent, no doubt,
to seek the paths that undermine this vessel,
while I fight in mind to block my fate,
and does it relate to my panic,
feed upon my doubts, and sate.
How does it know me,
like tree roots consume me,
and foretell my responses before I think,
and no matter how I perceive it,
I cannot just leave it alone.
It’s a mind game, a travesty of being,
that I should face life so coldly in death,
for it’s hard to see the sun,
when the battles all but won,
and the only way out is to accept.
I face the wall, and forgive it,
for it is but a wall no matter how I perceive it,
and in acceptance, my soldiers march to war,
its not my fight, just the flow of life,
and if I’m lucky that wall will crumble,
serenely, I will understand.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
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Some things we cling to even when we know it is bad for us. It becomes an escape from other things in life we cannot tolerate. I have the same issue and feel so alone when I try to fight it and know I am up against a wall, so I relate strongly. Very emotive and well penned, Tony.
Glad you appreciated it Phyllis. Cheers!