Hotel Hell – Can I Please Check In?
I don’t like the curtains
And the temperature just isn’t right
Noise from the hallways
It’s tough sleeping at night
Mini fridge keep humming
And the desk doesn’t have enough light
There’s no regular routine
So instead I just write
Electronics all chirping
Everyone needs my attention
Working mobile is tough
And the distance causes tension
Nights spent alone
And the beds won’t adjust
The pillows are flat
And the bathroom has rust
The shower shoots water like needles
But the sink is a dribble
You’d think that hotel maintenance
Could find a pressure in the middle
When it comes to dining,
You play room service roulette
What’s printed on the menu
Isn’t always what you get
There’s a fan which keeps blowing
Even though the system is off
Perhaps that’s the reason
Why I come home with a cough
Don’t even consider
Taking a closer inspection
You’ll soon have a list
Of repairs and corrections
Not everything is bad
There’s free coffee you say
Plus sugar and cream
And they give it away
Well I’m no connoisseur
But I do know my java
That free hotel coffee
Reminds me of lava
Another night, another day
Here I sit in my prime
How I wish I was home
It’s nearly dinnertime
Why I don’t quit?
It’s work that pays well
Taking care of my family
Is worth hotel hell
Read More From R.J. Schwartz
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I have stayed in a few hotels that resemble what you describe, Ralph. Often, as long as the bed is comfortable and they have the basics they are bearable. We do what we must to provide for the family. Good poem.
I’m actually sitting at a desk in a hotel on a 2-week business trip. The damn air system keeps coming on even though it’s turned off, and that annoyance inspired me to write this….ha ha ha
Sounds like an interesting place. ahh-ha-ha
I like how you describe the room so vividly with great phrasing. A fun read even though not much fun for you to be there.
Well, I believe it is the first time I have ever heard of a poetic word being inspired by faulty air conditioning… lol… but, I love it Ralph.
And those last few lines is why. I hate those rickety hotel rooms that you end up paying decent money for and get bottom of the barrel amenities. Nice write Ralph.
Most creative and imaginative. Well done. I know a hotel which fits your description. Before I left Latvia the new owners already had renovations going so one time I stopped by a little hotel just to take a shower and color my hair. Oh, my. The room was so small that the bed took up all and luckily I didn’t have to stay there long. The TV was flashing and most of what was on, was in Russian. I was so glad to say goodbye.
Truth Ralph. I remember staying in hotels in San Antonio that went beyond horrible. But it is all worth it in the end. Enjoyable read. Jamie
I guess I’m not the only one to have a chilling experience while away from home – thanks for the wonderful comments