I Wish I Was Someone Else
Every morning means more of the same crap
One day I wish I was someone else
Even half the day, or a few hours
But no, not happening
Same unpaid bills
Same dishes in the sink
The same busted-up phone full of numbers I never call
Truth is, I can’t call
How many times can you ask for forgiveness
Empty promises
Sorry for this, sorry for that
No one buys my excuses anymore
Can’t blame them
I wouldn’t either
Literally, I know the truth
I’m full of it
Most people think bad lives explode
Like a hard shift or something
From stop to start
All falling apart
But it’s not that way
Not that way at all
I know, I watched mine in slow motion
Started with a leak
Every time I made a promise
And never kept it
Even the small stuff
Didn’t matter
I’ll deal with it tomorrow
Ask forgiveness
But that only went so far
Until the curb became my only friend
I said I love you too many time
Rolled off my tongue
Not sure why
Who am I kidding, of course I know why
Too afraid to be alone
My own company scares me
Always ended the same
I wasn’t worth keeping around
But that’s not the worst part
Getting dumped, ignored, used
That happens
But knowing it’s your fault
It’s always your fault
It’s why I wish I was someone else
Maybe that girl wold know better
Teach me something
Never happens
Just me again
Hating life without much choice
There’s no real plan at this point
Too broke to move
Too late to start over
I’m stuck in the mudpile
And the sun is drying it hard
Heck, I’d even take something less
Someone to blame for this life
Bad husband, lost my job
Anything other than me
A better story
Maybe get a little sympathy
But hey, that’s not me
I’m public enemy number one
My name is etched in every accusation
Every underhanded deed
Every cheat, lie, and misdeed
Men won’t date me
My family hates me
Even at 2:00 AM I drink alone
Not much to say
Heck, I can’t even complain
I remember every road
Some seemed paved in gold
And then came the bridge
There was always a bridge
And I always had a match
Burned it
Regrettable
But true
Ask myself why too many times
Bridges scare me
Maybe pride
Could be something else
Like the final moment
The last chapter of a book
I always see endings
When others see beginnings
People say you can start again
Make amends
I say no
I don’t want that hard road ahead
Just one day
Wake up as someone else
Walk around like nothing happened
A breath of fresh air
Instead of a stupid conversation
Where I don’t say the thing that ended everything
One chance to walk away
Instead of staying
Every lie, every manipulation
My foot in my mouth
Watching someone else pay the price
Anyone but me
It’s never gonna happen
Tomorrow will be just like today
I’ll wake up, make coffee
Look around at this disaster I call me
Make stupid wishes
Excuses
Blaming the woman who’s been ruining my life
And know that it’s just me.
- I Wish I Was Someone Else - June 26, 2026
- I Have A Secret - May 6, 2026
A powerful and deep self-reflection, Nova. We are often our own worst critic. Thanks for sharing.