To Offer Our Relationship A Definition
To Offer Our Relationship a Definition
I. Our Relationship Defined
What is this relationship we defined
to quietly agree to cohabit,
to live in the world on our own grit,
the dotted line has finally been signed.
So you sleep in the other room now
and we both pass when taking care of kids
as if each and every smile we have rids
us of our deep pain, as if we know how.
After ten years I still have no idea,
to express how much love I have for you,
to tell you I love your mind and body,
all of you, the you in the space I see.
I pray everyday to recreate new,
I find myself falling inside of me.
II. Our Relationship Has Been
The poems you wrote about the sunset times,
the recognition of a true sunrise,
once deep inside of me with weary sighs
and lost Elizabethan sonnet rhymes.
So many words written in my lifetime
as though each syllable would fall to dust,
each stanza left outside to conquer rust,
no immortality hidden in line.
All truths are spoken towards you and me,
these years we loved will never find a home
where walls are filled with photos and art
of every child who makes our family.
To fill each paragraph within our tome,
too many words to spell a new fresh start.
III. Our Relationships Become
I cannot seem to see through all this
odd rhetoric of sullen divorce
held still by a new universal force
all I can do is stare at this mess.
The crisp mountain air will not settle me,
to hide in a book under each letter,
to sleep, curl in deep dark, to make better
a bitter infusion, emotions tea.
Within a second pulled out from myself,
a slight recognition from the real,
a sigh from the downward glance of my son
and I knew our time was our current wealth,
in front of your love I was forced to kneel
a kiss on your forehead sent to the sun.
IV. I Keep Making the Excuses
So I keep making all the excuses
as I point to the mildew and the mold
corroded picture of a story told
these memories and their lasting uses.
A reflection of a happy couple
on the water causing slow erosion,
to peel the frame back, this situation,
to slowly back away from this trouble.
With a moistened, tattered, floral towel,
I try to wipe away and prevent this waste
and though I tried the damage was too deep.
Fingers fell through this wood with a scowl
and nothing could remove this bitter taste
we could not stop dirty water to seep.
An Explanation
During my divorce I wrote many sonnets that I shared separately with a desire to combine in the future. Many years have past since these poems were shared as single sonnets written within weeks of each other.
Today tried my patience because it is hard living in two separate worlds held together by our children. So this collection of poems ordered for effect serves as a deep breath to ease my anxiety.
New meanings were found through the combination and “To Offer Our Relationship a Definition” tells a deeper story.
https://www.creativeexiles.com/2016/05/birthday/
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Your inner feelings come out strong in this piece, Jamie. It is very well penned and emotive. It is clearly a difficult lifestyle, kind of like walking on eggshells. I learned from many sources, including personal experience, that staying together for the sake of the children is rarely an emotionally healthy situation for all members involved. I understand there may be valid reasons why the parents remain in the same household after the divorce, but I wonder how confusing this must be for the children. Even if the children are able to deal with it, what is it doing to the emotional well-being of the parents?
I am a spiritual mentor if you ever feel you need help. Take care, dear friend.
The emotions just shine through. It is a hard concept to be so in love with someone that the sun rises and sets on them and then see that relationship unravel like a ball of twine and become a completely different concept and what happened to the love?
Thank you Phyllis and Rasma. Jamie