Hotel Hell – Can I Please Check In?

I don’t like the curtains

And the temperature just isn’t right

Noise from the hallways

It’s tough sleeping at night


Mini fridge keep humming

And the desk doesn’t have enough light

There’s no regular routine

So instead I just write


Electronics all chirping

Everyone needs my attention

Working mobile is tough

And the distance causes tension


Nights spent alone

And the beds won’t adjust

The pillows are flat

And the bathroom has rust


The shower shoots water like needles

But the sink is a dribble

You’d think that hotel maintenance

Could find a pressure in the middle


When it comes to dining,

You play room service roulette

What’s printed on the menu

Isn’t always what you get


There’s a fan which keeps blowing

Even though the system is off

Perhaps that’s the reason

Why I come home with a cough


Don’t even consider

Taking a closer inspection

You’ll soon have a list

Of repairs and corrections


Not everything is bad

There’s free coffee you say

Plus sugar and cream

And they give it away


Well I’m no connoisseur

But I do know my java

That free hotel coffee

Reminds me of lava


Another night, another day

Here I sit in my prime

How I wish I was home

It’s nearly dinnertime


Why I don’t quit?

It’s work that pays well

Taking care of my family

Is worth hotel hell


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R J Schwartz

I write about everything and sometimes nothing at all. I'm fascinated by old things, rusty things, abandoned places, or anywhere that a secret might be unearthed. I'm passionate about history and many of my pieces are anchored in one concept of time or another. I've always been a writer, dating back to my youth, but the last decade has been a time of growth for me. I'm continually pushing the limitations of vocabulary, syntax, and descriptive phrasing.

8 thoughts on “Hotel Hell – Can I Please Check In?

  • February 18, 2019 at 9:31 PM

    I have stayed in a few hotels that resemble what you describe, Ralph. Often, as long as the bed is comfortable and they have the basics they are bearable. We do what we must to provide for the family. Good poem.

  • February 18, 2019 at 9:43 PM

    I’m actually sitting at a desk in a hotel on a 2-week business trip. The damn air system keeps coming on even though it’s turned off, and that annoyance inspired me to write this….ha ha ha

  • February 18, 2019 at 10:24 PM

    Sounds like an interesting place. ahh-ha-ha

    I like how you describe the room so vividly with great phrasing. A fun read even though not much fun for you to be there.

  • February 19, 2019 at 6:48 AM

    Well, I believe it is the first time I have ever heard of a poetic word being inspired by faulty air conditioning… lol… but, I love it Ralph.

  • February 19, 2019 at 9:01 AM

    And those last few lines is why. I hate those rickety hotel rooms that you end up paying decent money for and get bottom of the barrel amenities. Nice write Ralph.

  • February 22, 2019 at 2:53 PM

    Most creative and imaginative. Well done. I know a hotel which fits your description. Before I left Latvia the new owners already had renovations going so one time I stopped by a little hotel just to take a shower and color my hair. Oh, my. The room was so small that the bed took up all and luckily I didn’t have to stay there long. The TV was flashing and most of what was on, was in Russian. I was so glad to say goodbye.

  • February 24, 2019 at 9:21 AM

    Truth Ralph. I remember staying in hotels in San Antonio that went beyond horrible. But it is all worth it in the end. Enjoyable read. Jamie

  • March 4, 2019 at 2:18 PM

    I guess I’m not the only one to have a chilling experience while away from home – thanks for the wonderful comments


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