How to Survive

How to Survive
How to Survive

I cannot remember the cost of my losses,
their pain and confusion long buried,
but I know that they have changed me,
transformed what I believed
before their profound effect,
as in deep sorrow, one learns to be resilient,
walk the edge of abyss yet stand apart,
in the pain of abandonment, one learns to be alone,
and to survive without support,
in the devastation of losing a loved one,
we discover the brutality of loss,
the realisation of our fragile lives,
not always about us.

These experience mould us,
give us strength and understanding,
and hopefully, having grieved and recovered,
our perspective shifts, our intuitive mind opens
and we become more sagacious,
able to separate the self and be objective
about circumstance and life,
as we grow mentally and spiritually,
able to see truths unladen by lies,
and further, our growing each moment,
each day we are alive,
for that is our purpose, our destiny,
our reason for this journey.

Pain is just a lesson as yet not learned,
and although the experiences are difficult,
the other side of them a pure invitation, to grow,
and we can go through life complaining,
blaming and cursing who or whatever
as a retaliation for our burdens,
refusing then, to learn,
and so we stagnate in every way,
our lives like a turnstile of repetitious plays,
as happiness escapes us, living in defiance of our path,
not allowing life to guide us,
just suffering the aftermath
of our stubborn decisions.

I cannot remember all my losses,
at least those feelings that brought me down,
but I do remember getting up
and eventually coming to a peace with each of them,
having grieved and then let go,
not the memories as such
but the feelings and the suffering I accepted,
I finally buried them, and set myself free,
to be untainted by their influence,
their echoes and resound,
so I could focus on the present, each moment that arrives,
and be thankful for the memories,
that taught me how to survive.

Tony DeLorger © 2018

Tony DeLorger
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Tony DeLorger

Full time author, freelance writer, poet and blogger since 1999. Twenty one published works, past winner of 'Poet of the Year' on HubPages, 'Poem of the Year' on The Creative Exiles, writer for, Google+, videos on YouTube and book sales on website, Amazon and

4 thoughts on “How to Survive

  • September 19, 2018 at 2:45 AM

    This is a beautifully penned inspirational piece, Tony. I admire your understanding of life and loss, your compassion, and your spiritual growth. Take care dear poet.

  • September 19, 2018 at 3:41 AM

    Thanks, Phyllis, so pleased you appreciated it, my dear friend. Take care.

  • September 19, 2018 at 8:05 AM

    So true Tony, I couldn’t have penned your expressions of loss, pain, doubt and moving forward any better of putting behind the harsh or angry feelings felt through it all. Life a mirror your memories and past experiences are somewhat a kin to mine I’m certain in similar ways. I struggled the past 20 years with ANGER and actually at one point checked myself into a group to help me through , it was a life saving experience my friend. It’s only been the last 7 years that I have totally come to a realization that life goes on, the past is the past and we must bury it and walk away for good. Being a poet of insight, I truly feel and believe that we all have our own paths of destiny, mine was detoured for me to be able to become more creative and expressive in my art, thus the pain, anger, doubts, bitterness, vindictiveness and more. But now I am a better man for having been tested with fire and walked out the other side of the pit intact. I may be a tad MAD having been tested, but I’m okay with that Tony, it frees up my wild imagination and allows my Muse to have his way with me;-) Beautifully penned and heartfelt from this poet to another such as you. I was moved deeply and that sir is the sign of a beautiful mind such as the one you have. Bravo

  • September 19, 2018 at 5:45 PM

    I’m touched by your response, Vincent but know we share many experiences in this life, and as you say, we are better off as people and as poets for it. Expression has saved me from many a bad day with dire thoughts, and as painful as the past has been we have learned and come out the other side, with a freer soul and a calmer mind. So glad you related and enjoyed my thoughts. Take care, my friend.


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