Facing Ourselves, Facing the Darkness
As we approach are our darkest moments,
and as our minds disallow the light,
we shrink to an assemblage of our most
fundamental parts, and in fetal position
we shut down, we slight ourselves.
There comes a time when thought itself
is rife with pain, and futility
is an answer to not feeling anything,
so we restrain ourselves and wallow in the mire
of non-existence, of slumbers numbing persistence.
I have known this place, this catatonic malaise,
where feelings cease, movement a paralysis
and thoughts but a flow of breath,
a pumping heart bereft of anything more,
where time is the only cure for any possibility of renewal.
The lowest ebb in a sinking soul,
a mind left with more holes than matter,
more pain than memories of joy scattered in a wasteland,
where numbing states are chosen
and thoughtlessness ascribing necessity, unspoken.
Even a gutter is better than this,
a drunken brain at least connected to something,
but this remiss of reality, a dark and relentless tragedy,
is like swimming in a pool of acid,
as it slowly eats away what’s left.
Yet somehow, eventually, we struggle to our feet,
feeling returns in bits, and a heart
well chilled begins to melt, just to see what survived,
and with a modicum of strength we face the laments,
and decide at last to try again.
Pain never defines us, it may break us,
segregate us from all we know,
but it is rising from that fall that attests our timber,
a fighting spirit that despite the odds,
we can return and restore what was lost.
And even though we may fall again,
perhaps better viewed through experienced eyes,
perhaps a little compromise will see us suffer less,
when we address ourselves,
and overcome the darkness in our soul.
Tony DeLorger © 2018
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Tony, you and I have been down that tunnel of darkness and come out the other side in tact. I for one have sunk to the lowest of low many years ago, a broken family, marriage and home. I struggled severely with this huge loss, I never fully recovered from it to this day, however I’ve been given grace from a source way superior than my whole being. I’ve accepted life as a training ground for something anew beyond this earth. I have no fear of the unknown, at times I welcome it. Anyone who can overcome the darkest of dark is a very fortunate person, many never will, many die early, suicides, drunkards, drug addicts, all the substances attack them, they were vulnerable, as was I, but for the grace of a higher being I was strengthened by the experience and am able to live a much more normal life today. Peace my brother, let’s keep penning our souls in such excellent work as you’ve shared here. Bravo
Thanks you Vincent, and that darkness give us an experience that many will not endure. I see it also as growth and the harder the lessons the more we grow as a result. We are kindred spirits my friend and I always appreciate you kindness and support. Take care .
Facing that darkness, confronting the demons, sending them on their way, and going forth with new hopes is our way through to find love for ourselves. I have been there, embraced the darkness and hurt, cried it out till I was dry, then crawled out of the pit a new person full of love and hope for my future – and it has healed me. This is a very important inspirational poem, Tony, to give hope, understanding and compassion to others, to let them know they are not alone, and that they, too, can survive it. Great piece, dear poet.
Much appreciated Phyllis, we all face darkness at some point and must know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Cheers!