In Refusal, Oblivion

How do you know,
how do I show you the way,
when you cannot see past a day,
a momentary blink of sentience,
oblivious to the play of life,
the circumstances that you ignore,
fight against or dismiss
as not worthy of your time.

When will you truly see
how disentangled you are from me,
how relenting you are to truth,
as it opposes the delusions you pursue,
in the blindness that you adhere to,
just to keep a modicum of control,
in a world that’s told from hope,
not from any reality known.

You skip through life in a haze of illusions,
pretending you are fine,
when truly your life is in tatters,
but what matters to you is how others see you,
not your welfare, your state,
that is as contrived as the rest of your fate,
lingering in a pool of denial,
a style you have made your own.

I wonder if your deluded mind
can find a deluded happiness,
perhaps that would be fine,
but I doubt the possibility,
because nothing ever supplies a worth,
when painted from a desperation,
a pursuit to find value in yourself,
a meaning that escapes you, completely.

How do you know,
how do you read your own life,
scattered with debris, overgrown by the seeds
of your frantic will,
trying to still the onslaught
of the recompense you create,
to balance an erratic grasping heart,
so unhappy and alone in your self-destruction.

No words can abide your run,
nothing breaches your walls of glum resistance,
and so help is without purpose,
as there can be no truth
in the refusal of acceptance,
no reality that glimmers your shadows,
hidden and dismissed,
as someone else’s truth.

Tony DeLorger © 2018

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Tony DeLorger

Full time author, freelance writer, poet and blogger since 1999. Twenty one published works, past winner of 'Poet of the Year' on HubPages, 'Poem of the Year' on The Creative Exiles, writer for Allpoetry.com, Google+, tonydwtf.blogspot.com.au
videos on YouTube and book sales on website thoughtsforabeautifulmind.com, Amazon and digitalprintaustralia.com.au/bookstore

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