Family Struggles…the Dilema
In kindness I try to care for my life
and those loved ones within it,
yet they fall short of my intentions
and in reckless abandon, care less
to live apart from my expectations.
Harmony is all I ask,
yet refusal in taking responsibility
pulls them and me apart, as I must live
within their chosen chaos,
and my ordered stance is to them a farce.
How different we are,
each a measure of singular life,
and reasoning cannot deter their stance,
be it laziness or ignorance,
it in the end has me taking up their mess.
Words fall short of my intent,
they must see my caring a covenant of futility,
for I live in order, respect and hygiene,
they in the squalor of their chosen misery,
which I must amend to maintain my sanity.
They suffer depression and anxiety,
and I know how difficult it can be,
but there comes a time when excuses are lost
within the truth of their incapacity,
to face personal responsibility.
I cannot abandon them, they are blood,
but I am struggling to accept their inactivity,
as a justification because of their ailments,
yet they can fulfill their entertainment needs
with endless stamina and focus.
I am being played, sure as I am,
my kindness an easy target of wills,
but where does it stop, if they refuse to learn,
overcome their fears and discern a better life
that accepts responsibility.
I am patient, I understand their issues,
but I am close becoming weary of the competition,
the stance for order my necessity,
and sooner or later their freedom
from the cages they presently abide.
My venting is just that and no more,
they as my children my responsibility,
yet I cannot relent my beliefs,
for it is they who need to learn and change,
to save their own lives.
Tony DeLorger © 2018
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I can relate to where you are coming from Tony, and the frustration you must feel..though still compelled to do what you can to make them see the folly of their ways. I have been through the same with my children and worried about their futures, but thankfully they all turned things around and have found happiness and fulfilled lives with families of their own..rarely needing my assistance other than the occasional babysit or advice on a certain matter.
Thanks John, yes I’ve got three happy and fulfilled, married, kids etc but my two youngest have problems so I’m living with them to try to sort them out. Glad you related my friend. Just me venting a little. Cheers!