Randomness and Other Silly Things


Like scrambled eggs in a lettuce wrap

Or half of a haircut

A blue pill in a hummus container

And a red pill in a cup of ranch

Did you just see the

Bunnies wearing human slippers

Dogs wearing old flour sacks surrounding

A crowd of angry food

Waiting to play with Grand Theft Otto

Searching through my toolbox for

Duct tape on a banana peel

Parade grounds of sunglasses

Cereal boxes full of confetti

And rainbow newscasters

Speaking in ears

Don’t forget the striped teleprompters

Daring the French fries two by two to

Scroll through the print version

There’s that invisible picture of you naked

The rhinoceros in the family album

But you can’t read hieroglyphics

Turnips in a spelling bee

Sauteed letters in a cast iron pan

Four tables and an empty chair

Barbie Doll skeletons

Surrounded by cinnamon alarm clocks

Meat cola and a cup of underwear

Water stapled to a tree

Peanuts covered in Band-Aids

Spooky Chap Stick shadows on the horizon

Glass bicycle tires

Armadillo feet

Pitter-pattering like baseballs splattering

Freshly baked motor oil

Rivers running with Kool-aid

Kitty litter in a rubber boot

Elderly Christmas elves

Staring at slices of bread

Garlic canes for walking sweetly

Spaghetti statues dressed in red

Flying sticks of butter

Waiting to be spread

Pretzel mustaches

Only shades of brown and brown

Eating from the lips

Salty languages of taste

Nailing in a hammer

Corset bone drumsticks

Sending the mice to bed

But not be after

Cartoon bathtubs

And the taste of yarn

Latest posts by R J Schwartz (see all)

R J Schwartz

I write about everything and sometimes nothing at all. I'm fascinated by old things, rusty things, abandoned places, or anywhere that a secret might be unearthed. I'm passionate about history and many of my pieces are anchored in one concept of time or another. I've always been a writer, dating back to my youth, but the last decade has been a time of growth for me. I'm continually pushing the limitations of vocabulary, syntax, and descriptive phrasing.

4 thoughts on “Randomness and Other Silly Things

  • May 27, 2018 at 7:17 PM

    I think you need to take another pill Ralph! lol Lots of fun in a world of absurdity at the bottom of a rabbit warren. Cheers!

  • May 27, 2018 at 11:59 PM

    Where am I? Better still, where are you Ralph and what are you smoking? I can relate to these crazy mixed up images.

  • May 28, 2018 at 6:29 AM

    Now, Ralph – I distinctly remember telling you to take care and takettizzy, but, I see you have strolled into the wrong part of the herb garden. This is a delightful trip you take us on.


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