Bullying and Youth Suicide…for Dolly
I call the deep abyss, to qualify my tryst
with dark intentions, so clouding my dimensions,
agreeable considerations they seem
yet no dream they are in contention,
of my desperate silent pleas.
So long this road imparted
all the pain and anxiety started,
when heartless souls did turn on me,
and take away my ecstasy, whole,
my very breath turned dull and unappreciated.
Those thieves did leave me wanting,
taking pieces of me and absconding,
and fear became my constant companion,
in my dark and lonely canyons
where hope just fades as sunsets, taking toll.
A family I love so, yet is it enough,
when I am so not worthy of their trust,
and if no-one bears to be near me,
no friend to hold and steer me,
what purpose is this life without a soul?
I look in the mirror and just see hurt,
so abandoned I’ve been, so vilified and burned,
and all I want is my family’s arms, console,
yet in the darkness of the night, I am alone,
and future just melts away, my seed is sewn.
I try each day to face the hateful eyes of those
who for some reason despise me,
call me names, their lies do break my bones,
for I am prone, open to their harsh truths,
am I really so bad, my life just a ruse?
Doubts like stormy clouds amass on my horizon,
and I am sinking, further in their mire, unable to move,
hardly a breath to commend my dire state,
and I am believing their hate,
oh why was I born to this impossible fate.
So, when clouds so low in blackness sew my thoughts,
I step into an ending with no retort,
and as consciousness wanes,
all I can think is how I will miss my loving family,
the only love that I have known.
Tony DeLorger © 2018
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Dolly’s story is so sad, may she rest in peace. It is such a horrible thing this child suffered through, and it is far too common. Your poem is so emotive, Tony, and carries a heart-breaking, powerful message.
Glad you appreciated it Phyllis. Dolly was a beautiful, intelligent youth with a loving family, yet persistent bullying and vilification drove her to suicide. The foundation her parents have started ‘Dolly’s Dream’ is out to get schools nationally to create a strict protocol to deal with this problem rather than hap-hazed and menial punishments with no real results. Cheers!