Parenting Illness, So Complex
Here, now, I’m caught in light,
a fragile plight I attest,
teetering on a peripheral line
at the edge of my resolve,
where capability and what’s needed, struggle.
Forever I, the placater of careless, taunted minds,
cannot for long hold onto those I love
with such responsibility,
such innately depleted energy,
my own inadequacies barely addressed.
We, in a baron desert,
crawl in the dust, over rock and parched earth,
each dragging step a painful expenditure,
closer to an oasis so far, yet I push us on,
until we are at water’s edge, yet they will not drink…
not thirsty at all.
I, wasted for the edging on, the persistence,
lying there spent, questioning the purpose,
the journey I feel impelled to take for my son’s sake,
yet who can help someone
who will not help themselves,
but if I cease, can I watch what ensues?
Broken from my tolerance,
my unending support and resolve,
to open doors of healing, bring needed change
and to rearrange their lives
so they can see what I see,
achieve happiness.
My frustration clouds my mind,
often unable to see the slow changes so subtle
that a new environment has made,
and I cannot push them more
otherwise they’ll break,
and I too weak to afford the impact.
Depression is a difficult ailment,
an insidious clouding of truth
and the procreation of comforting lies,
cycles to be broken and steps to be taken,
to find clarity in the real world,
as life the struggle moves forward.
Tony DeLorger © 2018
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Parenting is so difficult. We do our best then pray for the rest. The day came when I had to let go, knowing there was fear and much worry ahead for me, yet the older he got the more he absorbed what I taught. I had to let go to give him time to think, absorb, and find his own way. My son turned out to be far more enlightened than I thought he would be, and it was because I found the courage to let go so he could look within and grow. Such a powerful expression of thoughts and so emotive work, Tony.
PS: It takes time, but, some day you will see that he listened and drank from the pool.
Lets hope so Phyllis, thanks you for your kind words and support. Take care my friend.