Dust Bunnies and Flea Invasion
Dust Bunnies …
I should have known the first time I met her,
My friend Gladys was not the best housekeeper,
I took a casserole over to welcome her
To the neighborhood a week after they moved in.
I immediately noticed she was wearing flea collars
Around her ankles.
Now, right away that told me I may not want to
Go inside and visit when she invited me in.
I thanked her kindly, but “I have an appointment
With my doctor.”
About a month later Gladys came knocking on my door,
I quickly stepped out on the porch and shut the door.
“Sorry I can’t invite you in, I just shampooed the carpet.”
She said that was okay, could she borrow a dust mop.
“I had the carpet taken out to keep fleas from hiding in it.
Now I have dust bunnies all over the place.”
With trepidation I gave her my only dust mop,
Telling her to keep it, for I just bought a new one.
After she left I drove to the store and bought a new dust mop.
Not quite a week later she knocked again.
“Can I use your washer and dryer? The fleas have
somehow got upstairs and into all the bedding. And
do you have anti-itching lotion? We all have flea bites.”
I told her my washer was in for repairs,
And there is a laundromat just around the corner.
I gave her some anti-itching lotion.
“My goodness you should see those dust bunnies,”
She said, “They’re so big now, bigger than the mice.
I got tired of trying to get them all,
And they chase me as I walk around.
The fleas hide in them and get trapped,
So maybe leaving the dust bunnies alone is a good idea, huh?”
I told her I wouldn’t know.
She invited me over for lunch, but I told her I just ate.
“Well, maybe some other time then,” she suggested.
“I have a lot of green stuff in my refrigerator,
But just scraped it off the the leftovers and thought
I could warm up some spaghetti for us.”
I told her I actually felt rather sick and should lie down.
“Oh! Yes, you should and I don’t want to catch
whatever you have. I try to keep the kids healthy,”
She covered her mouth and nose with her hand
And backed away, waving to me with her other hand.
A few days later I saw a pest control truck
Pull up and park in her driveway,
Just as a moving van pulled away from the curb.
Then the landlord who owned the house (an old
friend of mine) pulled up.
When he saw me he came over to chat.
“Your new neighbors just moved out,” he said.
“I had to evict them. Someone called my office
And told my secretary the tenants were not
Keeping the house clean and free from
Pests and fleas. I investigated and found the
House also had a mouse invasion, not to
Mention mold in the new refrigerator, and
Dust bunnies all over the place.”
I gave him a sympathetic look.
“Oh, dear! I am so sorry to hear that. Well, then
It is good they are gone. I wonder who called you?”
He smiled at me and winked. “An old friend, I assume, who
has an aversion to dust bunnies.”
~~~~
© 2017 Phyllis Doyle Burns
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Great place to live! OMG I can’t think of anything worse that an infestations of fleas or anything else like that. What a story. Good one Phyllis.
Yep, that would be a very unwanted experience. Thank you Tony, glad you enjoyed it.
Quite an enjoyable read – I felt like I was in an old black and white sitcom and laughed along with the studio audience at the excuses the woman made.
Thanks, Ralph. So glad it made you laugh. I like writing a comedy once in awhile and it is fun.
Too funny! The sad part is that I know of a few people like this. Whenever I don’t feel like cleaning my house, one visit to them is all it takes to get motivated. Thanks for the laugh.
Thank you, Tammy. Glad you enjoyed this little comedy. Take care and Happy New Year to you.