The Sources of Human Misery…
Why do we become so confused, so embroiled in human drama and the emotional undulations that can lead us to utter despair? We may buy into matters of inequality and the seen persecution of others as they are targeted by narcissists and opportunists, and as a result suffer ourselves. In order to invest in such circumstances we first must judge, must choose a side, a point of view that justifies our stance. This in itself is the beginning of our misery, for blind judgement leads not to resolution. I refer to it as blind judgement, as when we make this decision it is usually based on one or several aspects of behavior only. Any one of us can display aberrant behavior, something that strikes a chord with our experience or past. But to judge someone finitely is less than fair, as we know little of the life we are judging, their childhood, experiences and beliefs. We are simply judging them conclusively with very little knowledge.
Displacement is often the mechanism of this kind of righteous judgement. Channeling our own ineptitude, pent up anger and experiences onto another, is an attempt to make us feel better about our own problems and propensities. It is not only unfair but creates circumstances far beyond the judgement. We in fact start a war, the endless banter of negativism escalating feelings and anger and therefore the circumstance. People have choices, and those choices could be very destructive, and in that, the universe does not need our assistance to create balance. It has been doing that for eons without us.
No matter who the person is that we judge to be this of that, our judgement is ill-founded, for often the very core of our judgement is a sensitive spot within us, a sore and vulnerable fault of our own. Rather than admit it we transfer that fault to someone else, regardless of truth. In doing so we live in a dark and unforgiving state of mind, and in real terms suffer at our own hands. I’m not saying we should ignore the malicious attacks of lost souls, but rather understand that we are all capable of anything, given the circumstances. In that respect, a war of negativity, just promotes those feeling and escalates rather than placates. And without forgiveness, we are tethered to this person, connected to the suffering we certainly don’t want.
The human condition is complex because we are sentient, and also we have an ego, a persona that is constructed for our own protection emotionally and physically. When pride and ego bolster our thoughts, we may respond to life in exaggerated ways, creating both conflict and unwanted circumstances. Long term these circumstances create misery, a pent up emotional storm that wears us down on every level. Being an observer is a technique I would suggest, so rather that judging outright, we should consider the person more objectively and try to understand not take a stance. It’s surprising just how a simple phrases can disarm anger or any disparity. A kindness, a caring question, so easily can placate an irrational outburst and fall into a quiet conversation that may resolve any misunderstandings. If not, and the person is too invested in their outrage, not contending is all you can do to untether yourself from any further calamity. Become the observer, the calm and steady voice of reason in the storm. You’ll be surprised how the negative fades when not fed.
Our misery is self inflicted, one way or another, either by thoughts and actions or lessons that need learning. Confusion is just a lack of focus, negative feelings just a rash response, and hatred a sign of ignorance, for we are all one, going through or will go through the same circumstances of which to learn what we must, in our spiritual ascension into higher thought. Each feeling whether hatred, love, resentment or jealousy are all valid in their ability to teach us a better way. So don’t judge anything, before you take the time to see what gift it offers.
Tony DeLorger © 2017