Inner Struggle, Sight and Humility
Author’s reading
I struggle sometimes with trust,
not of others but myself, and
am I right so many times,
my intuitions like a shiny new brace button, shines;
but can I believe that within me, perhaps,
yet I procrastinate, mediate my doubts and sight,
til one falls to falsehood or is proven right,
and so often my intuition or my soul
proves to me I see with clarity,
but if I accept that, will me ego create disparity
and off to fantasy land I’ll go,
inflated with assumptions of self
the swollen head of ego.
I don’t want to be right,
not driven by ego’s plight,
yet I see so clearly the paths of life,
responses and actions filled with spite
and I know why, and what’s awry,
but I’ll still doubt myself
until circumstances prove otherwise,
and yet again my intuition shines,
and I’m not sure how to accept it,
accept myself for my insight into life,
when competition and arrogance
is my greatest fear,
a role I will not play.
Confusion often rules my days,
as this conundrum is mine to play,
to accept insight with a looming fear,
that I may fool myself
into a projection of superiority, albeit unclear;
so I lament my own endowment,
afraid that I misconstrue my heart,
for in the end I am humble, erudite,
and in my silence just want
knowledge and wisdom to guide my life,
and the burden of insight is often heavy,
so I remain silent, ready to respond,
but try not to reveal my fate, my eyes.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
My books link for review and purchase
videos on YouTube and book sales on website thoughtsforabeautifulmind.com, Amazon and digitalprintaustralia.com.au/bookstore
- Brutal Night - March 30, 2021
- Like a Breeze Recalls - March 27, 2021
- Torrents - September 5, 2020
This is so true for all of us. We have inner struggles and just “want knowledge and wisdom to guide my life,” What we have to do is set our priorities, know our right path, be wise and value true friends and distance ourselves from false friends who cause discord, and above all be true to ourselves. Great work, Tony, and your reading is well done with emphasis in the right places. Your voice is expressive and pleasant – it is nice to listen to as I read along. Well done.
Glad you enjoyed it Phyllis, have a great day
The depth of feelings and articulation so pronounced when ones work is read by the author him/her/self. The emphasis of meanings, feelings are expounded and the reader feels the authors feelings. I agree with Phyllis, we all have inner struggles, some of us more than others. To release them as we do in the form of verse is a gift that lifts us up to release the struggles from within, so that others can hopefully be healed by our struggles and learn from them. Ego often is a bad bedfellow, it gets in the way of self wanting to be humble and accepting. Meditation and calm has helped me with that and placed it away, not allowing me to reach into that Pandora box of sorrow. Well penned and beautifully read. You excel my friend, keep writing and sharing your genius both in verse and in reciting. Beautiful work.
Appreciate you kindness and support Vincent, so glad you enjoyed my expression. Take care my friend.