Being Human – A Visit To Your Brain

I’m not quite sure what to call the style I’m presenting here.  I’ve been a poet for most of my fifty years, and my style has been varied.  I’ve penned lengthy verses of romance, staccato near-slam type of verses, narrative with complicated rhyming schemes, and well you get what I’m trying to say.   I’ve tried lots and had a great time experimenting.  Today while I’m surfing the net, I decide to stop and write.  I went to my notes page on my iPad and before I knew it, this odd piece was completed.  It’s a strange trip through the brain; but the style came out even stranger.  When you read it, take a breath at each comma- that’s how I wrote it.  Love to hear thoughts on the approach.

Being Human

Greetings one and all, will you answer to my call, I’m reaching out to everyone, thought I’d spell you for some fun, I’ve got a story picked out for you, if you have a minute or two, imagine you could look inside your brain, would it be wrecked and in pain, maybe filled with a sea of sorrow, or some dreaming thought of tomorrow, fantasies you’ll never live, so much take and so little give, or moments of when you were weak, when you knew you shouldn’t speak, times when your words made it worse, cursed the dead before the hearse, memories that haunt and scare, your so greedy you never share, and then you wonder what’s that sound, above below and all around, someone’s talking and your brain is hearing, hope they say something endearing, would the bad seem small when you compare, the surrounding goodness everywhere, deeds so noble they’re etched in stone, moments operatic with such perfect tone, and polite without measure, the world thinks your a treasure, no moment too perfect, not a shred of regret, love all around and plenty still to give, truthfully someone who knows how to live, or how about the chance there’s a mixture of things, some good some bad and some in between, your share of regrets are stacked up by the wins, the two piles keep growing but also stay even, decidedly strange but continues for sure, half out half in or stand in the door, well fear not good door sitter for you are not there by lone, in fact your surround by millions in houses and homes, they make up a tribe so unique but so great, we call those being human and they are truly great……aren’t we?

 

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R J Schwartz

I write about everything and sometimes nothing at all. I'm fascinated by old things, rusty things, abandoned places, or anywhere that a secret might be unearthed. I'm passionate about history and many of my pieces are anchored in one concept of time or another. I've always been a writer, dating back to my youth, but the last decade has been a time of growth for me. I'm continually pushing the limitations of vocabulary, syntax, and descriptive phrasing.

3 thoughts on “Being Human – A Visit To Your Brain

  • September 5, 2017 at 9:45 PM
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    Well that was fun to read, Ralph. Contemporary/Alternative Poetry,Rhyming Verse I think is the right way to categorize it. Yet it is written like prose. I enjoyed it. Very creative and unique.

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  • September 6, 2017 at 10:59 PM
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    I love the subject matter and the poignant question at the end…’aren’t we?’ The seed of doubt cannot be denied as we are as good as we are bad, and perspective drives any conclusions. As far as style goes, I felt a little lost within the format and words, not meaning, just the flow and rhyming seemed not quite right. I too experiment with forms and styles as you know, and some works, other not so much. With traditional rhyming, syllable counts and rhythm seem to beckon. Often, for me, if its not there I feel jilted. Lol Words are so subtle and even each one’s sound adds or detracts from work. I enjoyed the piece very much but it felt kinda loose. Just my feeling Ralph, a positive feedback. I always enjoy your renderings. Cheers!

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  • September 7, 2017 at 6:23 AM
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    I’ve mostly been a prose free verse poet, however the way I look at different styles is acceptance. No two one of us write the same and that’s what I like from the human brain, uniqueness. This method of using a comma as a brain break was fun and interesting. You actually had me taking a breath of relief with each comma added, very interesting flow Ralph. I actually enjoyed the pace, as it brought out a pause in your thinking as you let the electricity of thoughts place themselves in orderly fashion. It definitely gave my brain an exercise of thinking and like Tony gave thought to the ending, aren’t we? I enjoyed this style loose or not it flowed flawlessly from your mind, enough to have you stop what you were doing, grab your Ipad and pen them. Well done my talented friend, keep your thoughts flowing, they are always an interesting and colorful display of art. Cheers

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