In awe we watched Him, as He reworked the art,
Both hands, unwavering, repressed from empathy,
Wiping the dirt off our chins, how life then restarts,
A small glimmer, no… more a pinhole, a eulogy—
More like a blemish, but one that was special, unique,
Like you and me it learned the place that it belonged.
There are times I’ve yearned to be a shadow motif,
That space where stars die, and wishes happen when you’re gone…
How quickly my tears ran, and bounced off the pavement,
It’s me they ran from; I’m the one who’s fallen apart
And my soul is tough to free from enslavement
How sorrow, like a wicked cell, confined my heart.
There were nights I spent, underneath many dying stars
Not understanding or appreciating myself
Scared to fail, scared to shine, scared to endure more scars,
so I stayed inside and kept my soul up on the shelf.
The ceilings had a subtle black hue, it was cold,
it did one thing though, it catered to my loneliness
It mixed well with the faint waft of cigarettes and mold,
It’s fine, at least I wasn’t tempted by opiates
They say the world’s ending; a nihilistic approach,
Far be it from me to appreciate this boast.
I’ve spent some time now staring at nothingness and ghosts
And I cannot tell you which one I despise the most.
I’ve found that being alone, is worse than being burned,
At least I can heal from words and from pain.
If no one knows I exist then I don’t… I’ve learned
How tenuous this comment, to not exist, is to wane…
But I am not alone, like a falling tree, I hear you,
Urging me, begging me to come out and be free
But I struggle in the space between the bed and you,
to the light switch, to welcome the inner sun, to see…
To appreciate what I have to offer, see,
I want to be someone’s meaning…to matter to them
To fill that void, to love something unequivocally,
to cloy their emptiness, to be their love ATM.
Maybe that’s it, to be that small glimmer, just to matter,
I have to matter to someone for something, love maybe,
The great rectifier, it comes in the smallest of patters,
And just maybe that’s what matters most for me lately.