‘Leave Me to My Denial’
Leave me to my denial provides an insight into one act of courtship often misinterpreted. This piece is written from the perspective of a seemingly independent and indifferent male who chooses to play hard to get. Illustrating how stubborn some men truly are, when faced with a change that will require a greater commitment, leave me to my denial exposes the dynamics some use to avoid falling in love.
A foreboding sadness gathers
spreading mistily across my today
enveloping and staining
the fluidity of calm reason
It seems driven by determination
far stronger than my understanding
or my will to stop it, to not let it have
it’s more powerful way with my solo plans
It has come to me defiantly upon
a howling yellowish-grey wind carrying gifts
of unwelcome anguish coated in icy thoughts
the ghost of fate, and sticky pine pollen
Coldly my world is being transformed
completely clouded, unfamiliar to me
In boldness slain, it now seems
painted in hews disowned for their insipidness
Oh how this relentless determination shows the ease
of its ability to choke loneliness’ sepia freedom
Now at full gallop through every raw, gaping crack
found within the walls of what had once been possible
And thus, the relevance of my denial lies expired
beside the door, no longer moving, evidentiary coated
in yellow pollen, chalking a fallen once proud soul
marking where a future forest, has now been spawned
Very well then take my fading, granular concession
I miss you too and perhaps, in time more vibrantly colored
I will truly if not freely, realize how much, along with how
to best remove the bloodstains of denial’s demise
For I deeply abhor, being so helplessly overwhelmed
so vulnerable, so completely incapable of avoiding
those strident ways you use, to take my heart…
*~ Pearldiver ~
Copyright © 2015 Rob Welsh – Pearldiver with all rights reserved.
if you believe it will make you happy
But please, don’t take my heart
Don’t rob me of my soul
For they are all that I am
All that I truly need
To be free, to care, enough to share
To be at peace, and just to be, whole…
*~ Pearldiver ~
- ‘Fall Pure Water Fall’ (If You Must) - August 15, 2017
- ‘This Sensuous Language of Love’ - August 2, 2017
- ‘Free the Sun July’ - July 30, 2017
Great piece, Rob. Oh, how one can proudly shelter their heart for the sake of a familiar path of comfort and safety from opening to love. The thought of being vulnerable must hold a lot of people back from giving and receiving love. I enjoyed reading this piece and admire your artwork. Well done.
Thank you that Phyllis, you’re right of course, but some are also so set in their ways that they are beyond any inclination at all. We are all guilty in one way or another I’m sure. Glad you liked this piece. Hell the more I read it, the more it seems I was writing it about myself!!! hahaha. I’m not sure how to set my pics up and see you have fixed a couple of things I couldn’t figure out… Cheers for that, would you mind doing your magic on this post?
All is well on the image and entire post, Rob. Hmmm … yes, many are set in their own ways and that is okay – for I always believed one must follow their own heart’s journey and path in life to be true to the Self. Take care.
Posting Tips may help you, Rob. http://www.creativeexiles.com/help-new-members/
Hahaha Thank you Phyllis… It’s been a long time since I was a newbie! I feel all renewed again!
You nailed this one fellow “Scorpio” I personally have struggled with love all my life. My mother showed in full measure, however love from males in my life didn’t come that easy. As a result this obstinate male oft times fell in and out of love. Unsure of commitment totally. To say I played hard to get, I couldn’t say that, however I was very choosy and very particular in the type of woman I shared my heart and bed with. I held my cards very tightly to my chest, oft afraid to let love in, for being hurt. Well I guess my loveless fatherless childhood hardened me, thus I failed in two marriages. When I reflect back on my life, I know now I would have taken a different path. I had too many forks infringe on my journey. This masterpiece of confusion and denial is a magnificent testimony to a male struggling in his beautiful mind,.Your last two stanzas sealed it for me, well done Rob. Thank you for sharing your word artistry with us all. Peace my brother.
Oh mate, now I’m really concerned… that this may only be a Scorpio trait! I don’t believe the male of the species are generally ever taught how to love. That to me seems evident by how males generally treat females and can’t comprehend why they struggle to understand the relatively simple needs of most women when in a relationship. What should be two halves of whole, starts with understanding and should never evolve until both parties completely understand the expectations each have. Well that’s in a perfect world. I can see that I’m going to get into strife, so I’ll put it this way; How can a man not love the love of the woman who loves him? Glad you enjoyed this piece Vincent.. take care
I do not believe in astrology signs, but since the subject came up, I am a Taurus…whatever this might, or might not mean…ha. Errr….! Ha ha. (Gonna eat some tasty Poets for dinner! Ha..ha..just kidding, of course).
This endearing poem reminds me of the song by: CC “I’m Not In-Love”. It’s a very vulnerable poem, and depicts fragility of human emotion, in my opinion 🙂 This is how I interpret it.
Hi Tamara, thank you for your positive comments and yes 10CC’s lyrics to that track are excellent, as has been your interpretation – that’s exactly what I hoped I had achieved with this piece. I really appreciate that you have picked up on that… cheers, take care
Oh, yaaaa….10CC 🙂 I felt I was missing something, but wasn’t sure what it was…lol.
A great expression of that fear of change and commitment so many men experience. I’m the polar opposite, which in the light of truth is a burden in itself. Here you have well penned in masterful verse, the thoughts and plight of those with this affliction. Excellent poetry my friend. Cheers Rob
Thank you for that positive review Tony. Yes I’m sure the great majority of people have a cross to bear in one sense or another. In saying that I believe the most important aspect of that burden is how one carries it and contains its ability to furrow the path behind while carrying it. Glad you enjoyed this piece… take care