Five Stages of Grief – Stage Three – Bargaining

Bargaining

They say its comprehension

An understanding or perception

Strike a deal with someone

Anyone, or possibly no one

What to trade becomes the key

I just want to find the old version of me

The guy I used to be

The other half of you and me

The one who’s left behind

My soul in pain, a damaged mind

The questions still come daily

But, I’m learning to act bravely

Difficulties vaguely

Memories still a bit grainy

Although months have gone by

I still find time to cry

Realizing I need to say goodbye

Get my life off of standby

Search out those I’ve estranged

Most think I’m a bit deranged

The harshness we exchanged

As I suffered through the pain

The hurt and the scars remain

Eternally, as does the shame

My wish to take the blame

Yet through no fault of mine

My beloved ran out of time

Her soul now lives among the pines

I’ll walk through them from time to time

Maybe I’ll catch her eye

She’ll smile and let me know she’s there

A place that’s better than here

And she’ll always be near

As long as my heart is beating

What I’d do for just another day

Practicing the words I’d say

Thought about it when I pray

Longing so for yesterday

I think she’d want me to go on with living

Heal my soul, be forgiving

Measure life in actions and deeds

Help the homeless, plant some seeds

Filling in the empty spaces

Visiting our favorite places

One last time before their gone

Locked in the directories of my memories

Places saved for her and me

Ones I’ll keep eternally

Author’s Note

This piece is the third in a series that encompasses the five stages of grief – they are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.  The analysis of human experiences, especially when it comes to how we deal with emotional tragedies, leads to discoveries that are unlike anything else known to humankind.  It is with the utmost reverence and respect for those who are currently experiencing any of these stages that I’m undertaking this delicate series of poems.  I hope that in some small way, they help someone, anyone, to find the strength to take the next step toward healing and eventually reaching inner peace.

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R J Schwartz

I write about everything and sometimes nothing at all.I'm fascinated by old things, rusty things, abandoned places, or anywhere that a secret might be unearthed.I'm passionate about history and many of my pieces are anchored in one concept of time or another.I've always been a writer, dating back to my youth, but the last decade has been a time of growth for me.I'm continually pushing the limitations of vocabulary, syntax, and descriptive phrasing.

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