Five Stages of Grief – Stage Four – Depression

Depression

The false hope of bargaining

Selective targeting

Made up marketing

Anything

Something to confound my wounded soul

I’m in the deepest hole

Uncertain of my role

Feigning up only brought me down

Tepid smile back to a frown

When walking in the pines

Made me feel like I was fine

Thought I’d crossed the line

But it wasn’t the right time

Dullness bruising my shine

Realizing I’m still alone

An empty house, no longer a home

Hope it seems has shown

That I’ll continue to be alone

The depression my penalty

For thinking it was light I see

But sadness trapped inside of me

Blinded me temporarily

The will to overcome

Tough for me, easy for some

I’ve got many miles to run

Before the days are better

As summer turns to fall and winter

Thoughts of her begin to splinter

There still there, but not as clear

After all, it’s been a year

The tears still fall, but not so often

The hurt begun to soften

Nights are the worst, sleeping alone

And dreams that postpone

Thoughts of her headstone

Oddly staring at the telephone

The silence that can’t be broken

Even when words are spoken

Their simply token

And I remain heartbroken

I miss her in ways I can’t describe

Some I didn’t recognize

And now I’ll never realize

Just how her being, made me thrive

Mostly my mind is blank

Emotionless, my ship has sank

Resting on the ocean floor

Slowly rusting just offshore

Down with the ship, my good commodore

Nothing worth anything anymore

No idea what life is for

Tiring of trips to the drugstore

Television such a bore

It’s as if I’m searching but not sure for what

A shortcut or feeling in my gut

Bandage for the deepest cut

A wounded heart in need of rescue

Maybe a change of venue

 

Author’s Note

This piece is the fourth in a series that encompasses the five stages of grief – they are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.  The analysis of human experiences, especially when it comes to how we deal with emotional tragedies, leads to discoveries that are unlike anything else known to humankind.  It is with the utmost reverence and respect for those who are currently experiencing any of these stages that I’m undertaking this delicate series of poems.  I hope that in some small way, they help someone, anyone, to find the strength to take the next step toward healing and eventually reaching inner peace.

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R J Schwartz

I write about everything and sometimes nothing at all. I'm fascinated by old things, rusty things, abandoned places, or anywhere that a secret might be unearthed. I'm passionate about history and many of my pieces are anchored in one concept of time or another. I've always been a writer, dating back to my youth, but the last decade has been a time of growth for me. I'm continually pushing the limitations of vocabulary, syntax, and descriptive phrasing.

One thought on “Five Stages of Grief – Stage Four – Depression

  • March 29, 2017 at 11:24 PM
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    Sometimes a phone call to one who will just listen and not advise can be a great help. This stage is so precarious and reaching out to someone for empathy is good therapy. You are doing great with this series, Ralph.

    Reply

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