What We Leave Behind – Emotional Baggage From Sudden Death
My finger lazily traces the lines of her face
The worn photograph is beginning to show its age
The coloration fading like the memories I have of her
My struggle comes from within
Being trapped between the past and present
Is no place I’d recommend
Losing myself in the color of her hair or the blouse she was wearing
The same one she was interred in
Although the tears are no longer falling and the melancholy lessened
My mind hasn’t given an inch on releasing her memory
Death, they say is the final word in any conversation
No retort, nor response
The banter of past arguments echoes in my head
Moments wasted pouting
Lessons my older-self learned from my younger-self
Yet the timekeeper had the final say
Perhaps my concession was revealed on the last day
The day when everything crashed
Leaving nothing but emptiness
A chasm of empty space
Parting words still haunt my every waking moment
Caressing my emotions with soft and sweet remembrance
Her eyes staring sweetly into mine
A lingering kiss, the last kiss
Then she was gone
Her things still positioned as if awaiting her return
Cosmetics on her dressing table
A jacket draped on a chair
Unopened mail
Life simply stopped on a non-descript Tuesday morning
Her photograph is all that remains
And the memories
The cards and letter keep coming
Someday I might open them
Today is not that day
None of them matter anyway
Condolences are best spoken aloud
Assumptions that forever means always, come up short in reality
Expirations are unexpected by design
Life telegraphing how precious it really is
Don’t know what we have until it’s no longer
Here, there, and suddenly nowhere
R.J. Schwartz © 2017
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Beautifully expressed and an emotional read, Ralph. We all know that death is inevitable, a part of life – are we ever ready for it? I do not think so, not in my experience anyway. The important thing is to not suffer the grief and bereavement alone. This is when to reach out, face to face, or at least voices on the phone, to share feelings and thoughts with one who can walk with the bereaved through the stages of grief. To keep friends close and reach out when the need is there can be so comforting, so healing.
Most emotional and expressive. it is most painful, most surprising and hurt the most when it is sudden and unexpected and we still expect that person to be with us.
How true and a very emotional piece. Much enjoyed ….
This is a beautifully sad description of a lost love. I have lost love to death, as well, and I understand the depth of feeling behind your poignant words. I am sorry for your pain, and there is none quite like this kind of pain. The memories can be piercing, like a sharp dagger in the heart, or can be softly disturbing, and more tolerable. If you ever need a shoulder, or need to talk, you can talk to me. Thank you for sharing this rich expression of yourself. Hugs.
Tamara