Beyond Life, Beyond Dream, Beyond Time
Reality out of darkness, swirls,
its movement as if deliberate, elusive,
but my mind shreds it to the bone,
fibers of flesh baring all,
questioning my very grasp upon it,
becoming more and more esoteric in nature,
until it is unrecognizable,
and truths fall like drops from a candle,
melted into an alternate state.
Apparent to my heart, I understand,
yet my mind struggles,
questions so deep I am unwilling to delve,
as rising fear sheds a shadow of light,
an inkling of misnomer so strong,
I shudder with the proposition,
and although the truth smiles wryly
awaiting acceptance,
it is greeted with a disturbed countenance.
A sense that this epiphany is just too much,
overwhelms a mind
trying survive its own inadequacies,
and although a spark has alerted a knowing heart,
truth resounds not in an accepting mind,
just an uncomfortable realization
that in the end, the truth doesn’t matter,
and convoluted imperatives
just wear me out trying to uncover what I wont accept.
I awake bathed in sweat, a body in excruciating pain,
barely able to move,
and those multi-hooked thoughts cling,
won’t let me go:
not join them in sleep, not take them to consciousness,
and so I am in a purgatory,
part epiphany, part the reality of hell,
and I’m trying to remember where I’ve been,
beyond life, beyond dream, beyond time.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
videos on YouTube and book sales on website thoughtsforabeautifulmind.com, Amazon and digitalprintaustralia.com.au/bookstore
- Brutal Night - March 30, 2021
- Like a Breeze Recalls - March 27, 2021
- Torrents - September 5, 2020
I wonder if sometimes the soul travels to a completely new place, experiences things we have not before known then leaves us somewhere in between. This is what your verse brings to mind. I sometimes wake up halfway, wondering where I have been in spirit and where I am as my mind begins to function. Very interesting and mysterious thoughts in this verse, Tony. Very well penned and vivid, emotive.
You may be right Phyllis; this was my ‘last night’ experience, no doubts slightly delirious from high temperatures, but with a sense I’ve been there before. Interesting. Glad you enjoyed it.
Now that is interesting. You probably have been there and just cannot bring it into focus. High temperatures do put us in a different level of thoughts, or realms. I hope you feel much better soon, Tony.
Thanks Phyllis, after five days I’m not feeling better, even with antibiotics; I’m just praying it doesn’t develop into pneumonia. I even have diarrhea; It appears my body is purging all, and that makes sense after all I’ve experienced in the last four months or so. I relate it to that: emotions overwhelmed and manifesting on a physical level. All I can do is let it happen, clear out the negative and be cleansed. I’m not worried, I’m in life’s hands and at peace with that. Take care my friend, for your kindness.
This is so interesting Tony, your mind grappling with the edge of something truly extraordinary, that its significance is perhaps the overwhelming answer to the search. It’s frightening, but somehow beautiful that is just there, within reach.
I am remiss, and beyond sorry to hear that you aren’t well, through the comment above. Take care my friend, wishing you a speedy recovery and a mind full of answers.
Best,
Mel
Thanks so much Mel, I don’t get sick often, but this one’s a doozy, and knocked the heck out of me. As with all experience, it just opens other doors to write about and understand. take care.