Forgiveness, A Gift I Gave Myself – Learning How To Forgive
I forgive you not because it excuses your behavior. I forgive you because – I decided not to let it destroy my heart any longer. I was ashamed of the power you had over me even from the grave. One thing I learned as a young boy is that nothing good at all comes from abusing alcohol. Lesson’s for all those touched by this madness are sometimes never learned, other times it takes a lifetime. My forgiveness does not mean I have forgotten all the hurt, it means I have chosen to let go of the hurt. That moment that I decided to forgive you, I set my heart and mind free.
“I Forgive you”
Looking back sometimes is hard to do,
My hair is gray now – difficult, but now I forgive you.
Hatred has finally disappeared, faded away,
Fifty plus years later I think I am okay.
Dad when you drank – demons you tried to slay,
It never worked, they never stayed away.
With words and fist you made our life hell,
Vodka was your demon – you were under its spell.
Nothing ever good came from abusing the drink,
Had you, took over you so you could not think.
Your life ended, spring of nineteen eighty one,
No apologies for the things that you had done.
The years have flown by, now I ask for none,
Within myself – I forgive you, from your youngest son.
Poem by Kurt James
Kurt James © 2016
Kurt James first novel “Rocky Mountain Reckoning ” now is available in print form or for Kindle on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads, Walmart and many other stores that carry the books you love to read.
The Denver Post, PM Magazine, and 9NEWS, all well-known Denver, Colorado media sources, have highlighted the powerful and evocative work of poet and novelist Kurt James. Focusing on Old West history, Kurt contributes feature articles to HubPages and Creative Exiles, exploring the eerie silence of ghost towns, the thrilling tales of outlaws and gunfighters, and the evocative imagery found in the Rocky Mountains.
Kurt’s early admiration for writers such as Jack London, Louis L’Amour, and Max Brand played a significant role in honing his skills as a storyteller. Twenty-one books (and counting!) transport readers to the Colorado Rockies and the Old West through Kurt’s vivid descriptions; the feel of rough-hewn cabins, the sounds of coyotes howling under starry skies, and the smells of campfire smoke and sagebrush are all palpable.
Find Kurt James novels, short stories, reference books, and poetry—published by Midnight Wind Publishing—in print copies or digital downloads at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and other excellent bookstores; explore the diverse range of formats available.
Currently in production - The 10th book in his Rocky Mountain Series - Lee Moomaw Former Lawman.
Kurt is a proud member of the Western Writers of America, a group that values storytelling.
- Riding the Timberline - May 26, 2025
- Digging up Dreams - September 16, 2024
- As the Years Roll By - November 15, 2023
And that’s all we can do but forgive those who hurt us, for in not forgiving we tether ourselves to that hurt, and that is a huge limitation. Nicely penned and poignant of forgiveness. great work Kurt.
Thank you Tony for those very fine points and thoughts…
To be able to forgive can heal and cleanse the soul, for it is not accepting the hurt, it is just letting go. Great work, Kurt, of not just the memoir and poem, but the forgiving also.
Thanks Phyllis, for your kind words and understanding.
Alcoholism is a horrible disease and i am sorry it affected you so negatively. But you did the right thing if not for him then definitely for you. The forgiveness part is the biggest stepping stone you will take in the cleansing of yourself. Nice piece Kurt~Paul
Thanks Paul for stopping by and leaving such thoughtful insight.
I can attest to the destruction unforgiveness can cause in one’s own soul. This was very powerful Kurt.
What sad Lori is how many people can relate to this – that is what is powerful.. thank you for stopping by.
Kurt , you speak for so many here , thank you . though I understand that eternal emptiness well and whether we forgive or not , there is still a terrible cost for all . My father – I forgave , I forgave myself too and yet we sometimes carry on the same addictive needs and shadows in our psyches , in our personalities , in our memories . Great write my friend.
Thank you ED for those so very true insights and thoughts
Forgiveness is often the hardest thing..but in doing so we are gifting ourselves freedom of mind..I am so glad you were brave enough to forgive..an emotive write Kurt..
Thank you for dropping by Anjana and thank you for your kind words.