Fear
And I feared fear, a paradox be it so,
A head full of fears leaves no room for dreams
No keys to escape from total disruption
Where one path diverged, cleft by unknown means,
We sat at the crossroads, empty of gumption.
We cleaved on, as our internal organs clenched,
As a feeling of frenetic doom cascades
And illogical thoughts like rains had drenched,
Steeping the mindscapes like irrational blades,—
My lungs divided from God and earth
I tried to focus, to chase and catch the air
But the butterflies in my stomach were not joking
Nor did they even appear as though they cared.
And I feared fear, a paradox be it so,
To feel an anvil pressed upon my chest,
In stillness unable to up and go,
unable to free my mind and take a rest.
And given all of what I should have known
Where love should be my final confession
And obliterate fear, where life could finally grow
But I tend to have my apprehensions
This life is old, a tenet frozen in time
where cosmology was adversely changed.
Still I lay, on an imagined forest floor
waxing notorious enough to remain.
Within my mind the ocean is profound,
waves splashing inner walls at noxious rates
and where in the darkness can I be found,
but looking only for a place to meditate.
And should I fear death, in its mere totality,
If its presence cannot dwell while I dwell
Should I fear it all, in rationality,
The answer is no, it cannot sell lest I am felled.
Death is not the greatest forfeiture
It’s what dies inside, when we refuse to live.
This life is something lived only once,
to waste it in the shadows, I cannot forgive.
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An excellent poem, Paul. If we go around fearing the outcomes of everything we do in life we will never really live. I have been guilty of this on occasion but recently my wife and I have made a pact to live life more fully and do what we want NOW. Great advice.
I too have been guilty of this myself. It is a driving emotion in everyone’s life. Thank you so much for your comments John.~Paul
A splendid advise Paul..I too am guilty of sacrificing many of my wishes fearing the outcome…and as you said in a head full of fears, there is no room for dreams…a captivating write in your unique style, my friend..
Thank you so much my friend for your endless support. I am glad to have a friend such as you to support me. Thanks again~Paul
So true Paul and beautifully rendered with great phrasing. It flowed so well and even though 1,2,3,2 rhyming can be a little uneasy as it gets partially lost in words, it adds to the flow here. I love your imagery and the subject one of our greatest affronts, fear itself, our most disarming experience. Excellent work my friend.
Yeah it is Tony. Everyday in some way we face fear. I usually like to stick to a,b,a,b but every once in a while I drift from it. This one just felt right when writing it. Thank you so much Tony for your fine comments.~Paul
I am so guilty of this – you have great advice. Enjoyed the read.
Thanks so much Kurt, I think we all are guilty of this at some point.~Paul
The shadow of fear is the greatest palindrome. Once inside, we hesitate to reach out. Yet, that which pulls from outside is of the greatest force, if we yield. A very well thought out, and pervasive (if not invasive) gaze into what we fear, being the very fear itself!
Dear donald i thank you for following my progress here and am extremely appreciative of it as well. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. donald thank you again my dear friend.~Paul