Ambivalence
Ambivalence
Tony DeLorger © 2016
In the wake of uncertainty’s lull,
there must be movement, a decisive step,
for the weight of stagnancy
is a festering malignant growth,
devouring us from within,
and pain is its first port of call.
Truth may not render itself,
yet choices need part that forked road,
and abide we must to their consequence,
if only for the need to forward move,
to choose a path from stillness,
which in passivity, begins to decay.
Stillness then, in decay,
brings us to disease, to imbalance and weakness,
for we learn not of life,
when it remains in one dimension,
like a painting of imaginations wealth,
a delusion of reality.
The reward for inactivity is ambivalence,
a relenting of connection, of purpose and aspiration,
all of which forge shells of impervious rejections,
isolation that reveres silence in void,
without contention, no hurt,
without acceptance, no love.
Ambivalence is then the wake of uncertainty,
fear of direction a curse of sorts,
rendering a life cold in fixture,
and without the courage to move on,
we are stuck within its claws,
and our stride cut short to a purgatory.
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How very true Tony, your last stanza I related too. My reclusive nature of late has made me withdraw from the world, when one does that, we lose ourselves in many forms. I find I’m not as out going as I use to be. I shy away from idle chat, focus on my center point, soul. I listen intently more, which is a good thing. But I rarely voice my opinions any longer through verbal communication. I find joys in life mostly alone, yet with a very close circle of friends, we intimately act as sponges for one another. As I’ve grown older with age, I’ve become less dependent on social outings, groups, masses, crowds. I am content. Very nicely worded Tony. Ambivalence becomes many of us.
We lead very similar lives Vincent, and I know whatever I write you will relate to and especially with our chosen field of expression. Glad you appreciated the work. Cheers!