Elsie Rachet
Elsie Rachet …
Sun eclipsed the ragged stone monolith above, and light hesitantly edged its way into the glen. The glimmer of morning dew upon heather rimmed the upper valley as light chased shadows along the creek cut floor. Thatched roofs, one by one were light engaged, distinct; while blue ethereal smoke like ribbons attached to sky, marked the first morning fires stoked.
Miss Elsie Ratchet stood atop the milliners stoop, her hob-nailed boot laden feet, apart, rocking on her heals, rotund form swaying, hands matron-like, clenched behind, happily watching day unfurl, as if she alone had orchestrated it. A bulbous woman, with one heavy dark brow lower than the other, and a one-eyed tick, like a constant winking, with a nervous cud chewing and ruddy, round face, framing an innate wrought iron will and resolve.
With sun securing the glen, Elsie relinquished and slipped inside the shop, bell reverberating. She flipped the open sign and peered out one last time, eye twitching, mouth busy, fully committed, then disappeared; the pane now just a deep shadow reflection. Day had begun in Hatters Glen.
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What a delight, you painted your scene beautifully, I felt the morning sun, I saw the reflective colors flickering over the glean, even Ms Ratchet was a stalwart figure, someone nobody would want to mess with I’m certain. You made this poem come to life with your strong words as always Tony.
Much appreciated Vincent, I do love the Scots and this is part of a project I have yet to finish about a small village in the mountains of Scotland. Glad you enjoyed it my friend.
Awesome! Your description clearly shows the image of Elsie Rachet in my mind. I can even see the firm set of her jaw as she chews her cud, watching the day begin, soaking up the dawn, before she disappears into her daily routine. What a wonderful way to start a day, to awaken the soul with the dawn for a brief moment or two. The way you use words in your writing, Tony, is remarkable, it is like a painting to the visual pleasure.
Thanks Phyllis for you kindness, so glad you enjoyed this little sojourn. Characterization is a wonderful part of fiction writing and when I used to lecture writing groups, I spent endless time on this subject, and the detailed analysis that brings characters to life in fiction. Take care
Tony, the subject of characterization in fiction writing is of interest to me. I have written a lot of flash fiction stories, some which I have submitted to competitions. We are taught in flash fiction to be minimalistic about everything, including character development. If I have a thousand words with which to write a story and commit even fifty words to the development of each character, I am using words that could have driven the plot. You have turned conventional wisdom regarding short fiction on its head by maximizing character development and minimizing plot. Some would say this shouldn’t be done, but personally, I find it refreshing. Why should we be chained to these manmade rules about our writing? From your story we know how Elsie Ratchet began this day, maybe every day, in Hatters Glen. Beautifully written.
Thanks Chris, having written many novels characterizations is the one most important aspect of writing, for without that authenticity, no matter what plot ensues, there is no real believably. The rules of various forms of writing are generally laid out by academics not writers and yes, we should forge new pathways with our writing. I have taught many hours of creative writing and poetry to aspiring writers, and the importance of plot development and characterization has always been paramount. Even in short stories, glossing over characters simply leaves a reader with a hole in their sensibilities. The art of writing is difficult to learn, in fact we never stop learning, but ignoring rules often creates revolutions that are necessary in an arts development. Glad you appreciated the work.