To Forgive Myself

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Just me, explaining myself through Poetry words. Words that have been in my head for years. Now inviting you to read and see what you think?

An Upsetting Loss to Buffalo Bills in a 1993 AFC Play-off game...after the Oilers had pretty much clinched the game at 1/2 time...has made a lasting impression in Houston Sports...and NFL History reels...that has been a hard thing to forget!
An Upsetting Loss to Buffalo Bills in a 1993 AFC Play-off game…after the Oilers had pretty much clinched the game at 1/2 time…has made a lasting impression in Houston Sports…and NFL History reels…that has been a hard thing to forget! 

To Forgive Myself…

A testament…to my stubborn will…

To Forgive Myself…is harder still.

For all the dumb things I have done…

When I should’ve stood my ground…instead of being on the run.

As if forgetting about things…makes them go away…

Often…when they return to me…I find they’re here to stay.

Forgiving ain’t easy…but it can be liberating…if done with proper intentions…

I don’t know the true meaning of Forgiveness…it defies all dictionary definitions.

I find the hardest one to forgive at all…

Is the one staring back at me…From the Mirror on the Wall.

Of all the dumb things I’ve done…and after all the stupid mistakes I’ve made…

You think I could slice right down through the meat to the bone…like a sharp blade.

But I sit and grumble out loud…while my brain spins ’round and ’round…

And search within myself for forgiveness…which is nowhere to be found.

The things I recall from long ago…that always start with a “should-of”…

Won’t change a thing about today…No matter how much that I wish…they “could-of”.

Of the dumb things I do…over and over again…that I hate…

It is time for a reckoning…and time to set the record straight…

I want to clear my mind of all its needless internal debate…

I want to let go of things I still remember…yet I hesitate.


I must finally forgive myself for all of the stupid things I have done…

And get back on with my life…to forget my troubles and face the new day’s Sun.

Oh…but I am only a man…someone who knows he lost a few parts…out along the highway…

Many mistakes I have made…though some were long ago…some recently…some were today.

I have to lay them down…to finally forgive the me I have come to know…

And get past these things…and get on with my life and get on with the show!

Yet here I sit…with an angry heart…for all the decisions to which I thought of…

“Choices”…and the pathway they went…have to be corrected by the One ab-ove.

It is too much for me…to look at all I hold myself accounted for…

When unleashed upon me…they knock my Spirit down…to the floor.

Those “Choices” surround me…and dance around…and haunt me so…

To learn to Forgive Myself…takes more out of me… than I’ll ever know.

It can be done…However…It takes more strength to forgive me from the inside…

Then I’ve ever known…So I’ll just carry my stubborn attitude along…further on the ride.

And wait till a change is made…at a higher price…of that…to which…I can ever give…

And finally, be free…from that heartache within…that holds me back…so that I can truly live.

"GLOOM, DESPAIR AND AGONY ON ME...OOOH-OOOO...DEEP, DARK DEPRESSION...EXCESSIVE MISERY...OOOH-OOOO!" From the TV Show "Hee-Haw" (1969 -1992) What a Great "Country-themed" Variety Show!
“GLOOM, DESPAIR AND AGONY ON ME…OOOH-OOOO…DEEP, DARK DEPRESSION…EXCESSIVE MISERY…OOOH-OOOO!” From the TV Show “Hee-Haw” (1969 -1992) What a Great “Country-themed” Variety Show!


Billy Jack (1971): An old Movie-But a good one. Below the Main Character talks about being human and making mistakes.


Billy Jack, 1971. | Tom laughlin, Classic hats, American ...
Billy Jack, 1971. | Tom Laughlin, Classic hats, American … | Source

Billy Jack’s Movie Quote About Mistakes:

Billy Jack Movie Quote: Image result for thunderheart movie quotes | Martial arts ...
Billy Jack Movie Quote: Image result for thunderheart movie quotes | Martial arts … | Source~~~© 2012 ManlyPoetryMan~~~Thanks for reading this one!~~~Keep an eye on Steve Walters’ author page for more great works. can also find works by Steve Walters who uses the pen name of  ManlyPoetryMan on HubPages. Manlypoetryman’ s Website at:  Home | Manly Poetry ManAnd for some Writings I have been working on: › @me-steve-walters
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6 thoughts on “To Forgive Myself

  • August 28, 2022 at 8:10 AM

    We all are sentient beings and will make mistakes. The trick to get past the mistakes and go forward is to have faith in yourself. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is only a dream, so live each moment of today with joy, love, and faith. In Salutation To The Dawn, Kalidasa wrote:

    For yesterday is but a dream,
    And tomorrow is only a vision;
    But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
    And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
    Look well, therefore, to this day!

    • August 30, 2022 at 2:34 PM

      “But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness…” That’s a great line by Kalidasa. Also: “Look well therefore to this day!” Boom! Great lines coming from this writing. I always liked this one from Ptolemy…though I think it has been condensed…if someone looks it up. “Mortal as I am…I was meant for this day!” Well, that’s how the professor said it giving due credit to Ptolemy. Has somewhat of the same ring to it. Today is such an important day…if we ever see it from the bigger picture. Me…I try to make as many good days as I can. Can’t say that I am good at making each day count…though. Great comment…it makes one think. Thanks for getting into the spirit of the Poem. For one to move forward they have to stop beating themselves up on the “would-of/could-of’s”. At least…that’s my thinking. Thank you for reading this one, Phyllis.

  • August 29, 2022 at 8:11 AM

    Forgiving ourselves, though incredibly hard, is the start of a new journey. Quoting from Billy Jack! All I can say is that you are “The Man” Manly Poetry Man! Jamie

    • August 30, 2022 at 2:54 PM

      Ha! Score one for the “Manly” Poet…Bringing the Manly Poetry out to the World with ease and extreme sophistication. Is it dating oneself…to mention “Billy Jack”? Pretty much has to be with a Movie Date of 1971. Loved that Movie as a teen…way back in the day. You are right in your comment: “Forgiving oneself is the start of a new journey” (condensed quote). I think it has to be that way…as learned through the school of hard-knocks. Well said. Thanks for your comment and for the reading of this one, Jamie. Best Regards.

  • August 31, 2022 at 11:11 PM

    Haha you may be dating yourself quoting from Billy Jack, and mentioning Hee-Haw (which I loved)..Buck Owens and Roy Clark. I can relate to this poem, Steve. I wish I could change all the bad decisions I made, but someone once said “you learn from your mistakes” so if that’s the case…I would never be as wise as I am now I I hadn’t stuffed up so much along the way.

    • September 1, 2022 at 6:15 PM

      Yeah…John. Your right! Definitely dating myself with “Billy Jack” and “Hee Haw”. Wasn’t “Hee Haw” great? Really awesome Country Cast and Guests for a huge stretch of TV air time History. Man, Saturday evening did not get underway…no matter what you were doing…with out at least catching part or all of their show. It’s time for “Hee-Haw…Hee, Hee, Hee, Haw-Haw” Ha! I show people clips from “Billy Jack” every once and a while and they go “Wow” but I don’t think they ever go and rent it or look it up. It is so quintessential 1970. At least to me as a kid…it was great. Still is…for what it was. Oh…BTW…thanks for reading this one and for your comment of really getting into the images I chose to represent it. I thoroughly agree with what you said that we must learn from our mistakes. The only thing is why does it has to be “mistakes”. Why does it have to be in the plural tense? Why can’t it just be “mistake”…Ha! Best Regards.


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