Failing, Shaming,Trying, and Bullying

Failing, Shaming, Trying, and Bullying …

Now, boxing I was good at …

My apologies and sympathies for those who have PTSD from childhood trauma from failing and being mocked for it.

I have 100’s of thousands of words not published. I am a writer. Fear blocks me from publishing. They could bully me and mock me and laugh at my failures. I wonder about that.

Team sports are hard on kids. They maybe cannot work well in a team space. They maybe are uncoordinated and fail at the sport. If this is traumatic they need to fire their support group including parents.

Now I am 6ft tall and was by 16 years of age. But I only have 28-inch legs. My track coach made me run the hurdles. Totally insane with that body make-up.

I was a clean 155-pound guy and my wrestling coach made me wrestle at 200 pounds. Imagine being that size and being made to play football on the front line against huge helmeted dudes. Well, I failed more than I can count – do not even mention baseball, basketball, and soccer. I did just fine in regular school except being expelled at least once a year for fighting. They mocked me so I hit them in the nose. Now boxing I was good at.

Now for the most part except for my art. I kind of look forward to new things to fail at. Bring it on and bully me. Was Edison who claimed for the 2,000th failure he just learned how not to do it.

Now marriage is a total bust. My first wife only 16 years together and 3 great kids. We still get along great. My current wife only 17 years with one great child and she threatens to split at least twice a month.

I think I have had over 20 jobs. When you have 3 at one time it is hard to keep track, not to mention 4 continents.
Perhaps I failed well at practicing law and preaching. I don’t think they laughed at me there. Seems they were scared of me and were happy I moved on.

My mom and dad told me I was a good son before they passed on but they were lying. Love does that.

The whole world gave me many chances
But I failed at all of the attacks of lances
They held me up though I always failed
They lifted this worn-out son though I flailed

I have swum that marvelous river of life
But sometimes it seems I only caused hard strife
Failure is my middle name so many say
But in this spot, I will rally and meet another day

Folks like me have a very hard back
For we fall more than winning which we lack
Up and down our lives we cry like the crow on the wire
We lose and fall down but of trying we never tire

So button up that shirt and put on your shoes
Join me in the race that we always seem to lose
Put away that sad sack face of victim and despair
Jump up and ride the wind without a loss you care

Let us cross that old finish line the best we can
We may lose but we will fight hard and in the end stand
Us losers need to join hands and bring others to try
We must help all others to reach for that cloudy sky

Do not worry or back down stand tall in all you do
There will always be another who reaches over to you
Be yourself and your dreams do not ever bury
We lift you up and love you in all of your hard hard glory

My pants have holes in the knees from falling down
But who would try harder if I was not all around
Us folks who try and fail are the finest warriors of the time
Try and you will always be a good friend of mine


For more works by this author visit Eric Dierker Author Page
You can also find writings by Eric on HubPages.

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5 thoughts on “Failing, Shaming,Trying, and Bullying

  • August 19, 2019 at 11:14 PM

    Well done, Eric. I enjoyed reading this piece and felt the sincere emotions behind it. You are doing great in writing. Never fear to write what is in your heart and soul and publish it.

    • August 25, 2019 at 6:07 AM

      Jamie I had a case of insomnia so I just got up to enjoy. I reckon I failed in sleeping. Wow how great to see this time of day. You inspire me. Thanks.

  • August 21, 2019 at 3:18 AM

    You know Eric – writing my novels and poetry is the best therapy for me. My mom encouraged me to write for me only to rid myself of any inner demon that may haunt me. She was right of course as all moms are. When you write with your emotions on your sleeve for all to see and judge it is as scary as it gets. But, I assure you it is the best medicine and self help you could ever do for yourself. I, like Phyllis enjoyed this very much and felt your anguish. Keep at it, keep writing, slay any demon that haunts you – it takes time, but they will be slayed.

  • August 23, 2019 at 7:43 AM

    Kurt James I just wrote a piece and will publish, thanks to you. I am working on those dragons. My problem is that I invite them in for tea. And then I go back to gardening instead of sharing my roses. But oh how my neighbors like my imperfect roses.

  • August 24, 2019 at 5:10 PM

    Eric I love your quatrains, well crafted with some great rhyme. I was nodding my head as I read your worries and I understand. I figure I have so many fears and anxieties around me all the time I might as well find one thing that I can just be me and do my own thing and not worry about failure so much. That is what I use my writing as. I work early in the morning when the world is asleep and I try to wake up some of those childhood moments when I wanted to be a writer and life had not punched me so many times. Thank you for sharing and I enjoy reading what you share. Jamie


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