My Cardboard Shell

My Cardboard Shell
My Cardboard Shell

Cardboard colours fill the void,
the darkness yield like a shadow ploy,
and in dim resound of thoughts on fire,
my acceptance wanes while spite aspires,
and heart sinks like a cement cloud,
gloaming light under gloom and shroud,
as words just slash at delicate skin,
a blade so sharp it cuts within the silence,
where blood is barely found.

Hell is quietly watching,
rivalled by my brutal botching,
self-loathing remnants, no intervention,
just echoes of past-like tension,
under skin without detection
abiding pain and silence screaming,
makes my throat so scratchy, as eyes
vying for modicum penance,
for all this self-damning evidence.

Colours spread like morbid bacteria,
and words of silence vibrate clear,
thoughts brimming, body simmering,
aching pain and regret giving me
heart palpitations, as I swallow
all than cannot be assimilated,
coming back up and somehow affiliated
with rejection, I’ve long withheld
from not facing shadows.

Funny how sickness masks the truth,
the root of all our woes,
symptoms loosely attributed,
to the darkness deep inside,
shouting out as excrement,
easy to spot when exited,
yet hardly noticed as it resides,
plaguing our every breath,
pointing us to our death.

My screaming is resounding, in quiet plea,
but it only wakes the dead,
for here no-one even notices,
the struggle in which I’m engaged,
enraged by my own ineptitude,
a certitude of self-belief,
that resounds within my head,
and no matter my perspective,
this human shell remains.

Tony DeLorger © 2018

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Tony DeLorger
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Tony DeLorger

Full time author, freelance writer, poet and blogger since 1999. Twenty one published works, past winner of 'Poet of the Year' on HubPages, 'Poem of the Year' on The Creative Exiles, writer for, Google+, videos on YouTube and book sales on website, Amazon and

6 thoughts on “My Cardboard Shell

  • November 23, 2018 at 7:55 AM

    A mournful epistle indeed my friend. How our bodies react to what we feed it both from external influences, foods and drinks of all kinds, mental stresses stacked against our inner cavity of life. We humans were not created to withstand the outside afflictions that plague us. One thing certain, there is no guarantee of good health, unless we take command of what we feed our cardboard shell. We are in constant battle with decisions, be them right or wrong. Cancerous cells within like maggots cling to our soul. Much beyond our control, doctors and medicines are a temporary fix only. I choose the life of a vegan to sustain my good health, for how long, who know’s, it’s a temporary fix to allow me to go into the good night with some dignity of life, yet the clock is ticking, we don’t get out of this life alive, but we can live a quality of life by feeding our shell without nutrition and plant based life sustaining foods. The biggest and strongest animals on our planet are plant based eaters, I choose not to kill and eat dead animals for my good health. So my friend, do your best to stay healthy not only in your body but mind and spirit. You have a beautiful mind no matter what your body within cries out to you. Do not go down defeated, lifestyle is the key to good health. Peace my friend, a magnificent piece here. Bravo, yet sad.

  • November 23, 2018 at 7:06 PM

    Glad you relate to the battle, a human affliction indeed. Kind words as always and a deep understanding of this earthly journey. In the end none of it matters, just our intentions, our choices and responses to all aspects of this human condition. ‘I tear the fabric, if only to let light fill the shadows.’ Thank you dear friend and fellow traveller. Take care Vincent.

  • November 24, 2018 at 8:17 AM

    Vincent is right for the most part, I just cant agree with being vegan. We are not built with all the answers the abilities to find them. But rejection and the inability to understand why is a tough pill to swallow. Very vivid imagery used so well my friend. Great work

  • November 25, 2018 at 9:29 PM

    We can be so harsh with ourselves, forgetting we are partly human as well as spiritual warriors seeking to learn from our faults and errors. Very emotive and well penned work, Tony. Take care, dear friend.

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