The Paradox
A paradox of intention,
our minds fully questioning the ride,
the torrid undulations, the still seas orientations
of stagnation and refusal to abide;
we claw our way to higher crests
to see what lay beyond,
yet fall so brutally to shambles
when we cannot see tomorrow,
our misgivings so paranoid,
our hearts hardened from the affronts,
yet we must overcome to forward move,
just to find our next what comes.
Is it confusion or distraction
that somehow seals my fate,
seeking clarity in disparity,
like a settling beyond the wake,
and left somewhat battered
by the waves I so procure,
I fumble as I stumble,
and detest why I feel so insecure,
yet still I look to far distant cures,
feeling that the answers will come,
if I can but focus and not listen to
that inner voice succumb?
So is it me who dictates this avalanche,
this endless thrashing sea,
or does life indeed carry me
to each travail by necessity,
I cannot tell and don’t what to know,
the ache just hurt me so;
this paradox does frazzle me,
chipping away at my dignity,
questions I don’t want to ask,
is set before me, mine to task,
and learning may be the only point,
but at whose command, adroit?
So am I looking to blame,
where the buck stops may well be the game,
and my oppression could be my own will,
serving lessons to sate,
and I am quibbling with who and why,
with no advantage, if I don’t comply,
or playing victim no compromise,
just an ignorance to placate,
the fears in me that keep me bound,
blaming the world for my resound,
my bleating heart embarrassing,
for not accepting responsibility.
The Paradox is not one at all,
life the path at our beck and call,
and no matter how much we complain,
the mirror reveals just who to blame,
if that were a thing of worth.
Tony DeLorger © 2018
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Life does seem muddled up at times – I am going through such a state now and find it difficult to pull out of. Yet, I have faith in myself, so it will just take me longer than usual to stand up and see clearly. Very well penned and emotive thoughts that echo my own. Take care, Tony. Many blessings to you. x
Yes we all can muddled to say the least. Sorry you’re on one of those sojourns at present; things will become clear soon. Glad you related my friend. take care of yourself.
If it wasn’t for disturbing mood swings I don’t know how I would ever write. It’s the shuffling of life and what is thrown at us that force us to prevail. Confusion is often beguiling and mysterious to me, I wish I could keep a calmer front, so I best live alone in my own state of it. Often our oppression’s are our own doing Tony, we seem to bring negatives to the fore sometimes too often. I have learned how to go with the flow in many instances, not giving a dam what others think or do I care. Cheers my friend and when becoming muddled think of others who are just as muddled as you;-))
Thanks Vincent, and perhaps we all are muddled to varying degree and that is the nature of dealing with life’s ups and downs. Glad you related to mu musing. Take care my friend.