What has been, has been
in the depths of a nightmare’s dream,
once removed it seems,
from a mind lost to its ferocity,
its animosity my feared acceptance,
and by my awakening it lives on,
grasping onto my thoughts
and glued by its own twisted resolve.
Lingering I can cope,
echoes just a nightmare stoked,
but pressing as it does alarms my cause,
and weakened I remain from the wild thoughts
it deemed me to accost,
unable to leave them be
in the wrinkled sheets of sleep,
instead they remain, unrelenting.
Such a soured malaise this recurring haze
of thinking I would rather not,
darkness that has no plot,
just a sickening fear that haunts my days,
as if malevolence was my shadow,
and each thought appraised its being,
too dark for the seeing
and too feared I am its keeping.
I look for black cats and ravens swoop,
as if luck is against me,
this settling in of a dark resolve,
stepping over cracks, around ladders
and eyes down, I wear a crown of thorns,
a taunting black abyss,
its kiss so squarely felt,
as I melt beneath its burden.
I beg for sleep, for in some way
to avert this conscious weight,
this inexplicable dream that seems
to have held me to its evil charms,
its motives unknown, and I am prone
to whatever it desires,
its power seems so fired,
and I so restless and tired.
At last I’m drifting to slumber’s will,
a respite from a day of shadows,
a day I wish no repeat; and as I fall to dreams,
I’m light again, floating on a feather’s seat,
and darkness is now gone,
just soft light and a warmed heart I feel,
those demons cannot get me here,
I’m safe and sound at last.
But when I wake, that weight is felt,
the malevolence I so fear,
my God now I realise,
tis not dream or nightmare to compromise,
its the world itself through darkened call,
that haunts my bones and makes me crawl,
reality it seems my nightmare dreams,
and sleep my only savior.
Tony DeLorger © 2018
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