And Words My Expression
How much do I absorb, how much must I let go,
when life proffers an endless purge
of all the paths I’ve explored,
and in that reckoning,
within the balance I reconcile,
how much am I effected
for the changes I must abide.
I try to flow with change, ride the undulations given,
and accept what renders advantage
in the gleaning of my lessons,
yet within the scope of my rendering,
in the varied paths I have chosen,
there is always a recompense,
for all that I’ve not noticed.
I fall from incapacity, I rise because I’m shrewd,
yet the spaces of what’s in between
still causes me woe and intrudes,
because I’m not perfect, I cannot face it all,
some things just elude me,
and for others I stand tall,
as I’m tasked to get it right.
Being sensitive is a burden, being numb is a bliss,
but an inquisitive mind is a sentence,
a lifetime plight, a turn the other cheek kiss,
as I cannot turn from anything,
regardless of the cost,
and accept an avalanche of mental debt,
my restless sleep the cost.
And in my malaise of trying to accrue,
a balanced and ordered mind, if only that were true,
because although I strive for equilibrium,
a pragmatic stance of reason,
I’m overwhelmed and solitary,
the burdens of this season I abide,
where often sunlight refuse to shine.
So I attest the prison I make myself,
where thought is captured and driven to extremes,
for I cannot let one thought loose,
even in my most colorful dreams,
instead I am a slave to their commands,
and in life I just keep reckoning,
for my mind is the life I lead,
and words my expression.
Tony DeLorger © 2018
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And your expression is always so captivating, Tony, regardless of the subject or mood. You give so much of yourself to others that I do not see you as a self-made prison, but, you seem content with it. Yet, you are the only one who can attest to that. It also seems you have a sign on your heart that says “Do Not Enter” – yet, you have so much love for life, nature and all living things. Yes, my dear friend, you are an enigma indeed. Take care.
With insight comes the freedom to choose. I simply exercise that. Thanks Phyllis for your undying support. Take care.