In Phyllis Doyle’s humorous piece “Six Pack to Go” she issued a challenge to try and come up with a funnier piece of humour. I realise that was written some time ago, but she didn’t stipulate a time limit. This poem “It’s a Weird Wor(l)d” is my attempt.
It’s a Weird Wor(l)d – a Poem of Puns
Why are boxing rings not round? I ponder,
And confused fighters told, “Move to the corner!”
My closest relative’s my father,
But a long way distant is known as farther.
Why do fish hang around in schools?
Who teaches them the golden rules?
And what about a herd of cattle,
Does this mean you can hear them rattle?
If a blue movie is rated “R”,
Does that mean a smurf is not the star?
If parks are places that you play,
Do cars have fun when we’re away?
One fish is fish, and more are too,
One sheep is sheep, and so are ewe.
One mouse is mouse, and two are mice,
So why is not two houses, hice?
One male is man, and two are men,
One female’s woman, two women,
So if one person is a human,
It means that two should be humen.
If we strike gold or oil, we’re rich,
But a strike in baseball is a bitch.
Travelling on a plane’s a trip,
So is falling over and breaking your hip.
The World Wide Web has many sites,
And a unit of measure is called a bite.
The world called Earth has many sights,
And bugs, and nasty things that bight.
This poem is full of many puns,
But please don’t point those nasty guns.
I know bad jokes are not the trend,
So, I’ll bring this one to an end.
by John Hansen © 2016
After a lot of procrastinating I have finally self-published my first eBooks of poetry "I Laughed a Smile" and "On the Wings of Eagles" at Lulu.com.Now I find myself branching out and experimenting with short fiction.
I have also been fortunate to have two poems chosen to be made into songs and recorded. The first "On the Road to Kingdom Come" by Al Wordlaw, and the second, "If I Could Write a Love Poem" by award-winning Israeli/British singer Tally Koren.
I am also finding my services increasingly in demand as a freelance writer and I have ghost-written the text for a number of children's books and educational tutorials.
It has taken me many years of searching and restlessness to realise that my life's passion is to write. It saddens me that I wasted so many years not devoting to that, but thinking positively, the experiences gained over those years is now wonderful material for my stories and poems.
I want to try to bring a new focus on poetry and try to make it appealing to a new generation of young people and those who thought they never liked or understood it before.