Perspective Overdose

Perspective Overdose …

No one of yet has developed a language

or a lexis that confirms my point of view.

In the darkness with the angles and anguish

and the heavy baggage I’m attending to—

 

Empathize with me, no need to misconstrue

There’s so much trouble teeming in these veins

Not every morning sky is azure blue

Sometimes it grey, and sometimes its rains—

 

And sometimes the answer is not defined

so maybe the key to freedom is you

You, the cancer propaganda designed

Sometimes I wish that I could vanish too

 

And discover the meekest answer to find,

It’s true; these words seem like they’re such a waste,

A bunch of empty meanings combined

Another message that was killed in haste,

 

Erased and replaced by a demon unchaste

Nothing worse than being stabbed by your own knife,

How these words have their terms and their space

Though nothing I write could hit you harder than life

 

And in life were moments I’d hoped to replace

The moments you were close to the coffin

Often times I couldn’t wear the straightest face,

At this pace I was the one grieving losses

 

Of course there were skeletons in my closet,

And honestly we fought back then and quarreled

And their bodies were evident of my forfeits

and the many times that I had spiraled.

 

In the bottle and the pills I paid homage,

A hostage of false promise and of remedy

The hollow shell my simile for knowledge

The drama I played out for all to see.

 

And that was just me, my sad effigy,

to the pharmacy I was ever devout

My anomaly was my true identity,

A good farmer could see what needs cropping out

 

And I was a bad weed, as I could recount

A travesty of gravity’s apogee

My mother and father just couldn’t account

as my empathy was always an absentee.

 

And happily I lived as a derelict

The heritage inherited from surrogates

with the demons I haven’t conquered yet

And the weakness where abstract is evidence.

 

And specialists, pessimists and therapists

They come at me affectionate and cordial

Each with a testament of my pestilence

and me the genesis of their fortunes.

 

I realized the horseman in all this burgeoned

I mused how your kiss tasted better with smack

How the ceilings cracked and I felt the endorphins

In the sorted portions of my snorted snack

 

And I locked with your lips and it was gorgeous

But in all this I realized that I was alone

An epiphany of ecstasy I cannot ignore was,

On smack there was a different me with different bones—

 

A universe where I was prone to levity

A sinister value of frightening thought

An entity of deviltry and revelry

a crackpot so carefree of being caught.

 

And the microcosms of milliseconds

Passed by like the hours of endless days

The haze was like angel praising the heavens

Ablaze in the rays of the heavenly blaze

 

And I stoked up the fire as providence

Thinking why wouldn’t anyone want this to stay

Not cognizant of all the consequence

My incompetence of common sense would play

 

The ominous omnibus of anonymous

and how this story could be you some day.

How wantonness and drugs are synonymous

Of a lifetime of grief that does not pay.