Behind the Mask…
Her bony hands flowed on the ivory keys—
immersing into the shadows above.
Behind the hammers and strings her mind at ease
Behind the mask she perpetuated love.
Each day the world died in her muted eyes
often undone in sodden dribs of pain
Her ears vacant with her specters in reprise
her beating chest, unhealed, and always drained.
Her soul dressed like an oft exploited sweater
Each rip made it harder to find the crucial seams
Behind her broken eyes, a future leper,
Shunned from society, forbade from dreams
Each shirt sleeve wore a salty brine of blame
The times her eyes were dried, she’d lost count by now
How sad most of those wrist-strikes were lover’s names,
Some were deeper than others depending on how…
How else again could her heart shatter—
but tattered into sad remnants of what was…
A ship sailing toward the night time chapters,
cleft in the horizon of a heart on pause.
It’s 2am and another palsy sweeps
Claiming her soul for more ill-fated dreams
As helplessly into the mirror’s deep,
her reflections cripple her self-esteem.
Her lips like blossomed rosebuds or withered lines
Alone she tries to recognize their meanings,
her sidewalk angels, bent, their words maligned
with pensive grief, she withers from her demons.
Those despondent nights, in untold realms of thought
How solitude reared its ugly head once more.
Tucked in the hardwood braced on two walls taut,
She bent down, hands clutching knees, so beaten and sore.
No manner of man could calm her sorrows
Like an infinite lake of past regrets
Was I so soon to drown mending those tomorrows
Or was I the one who would help her forget?
How could I? She was ashes, a burned down past
One swept away in the breezes, forgotten.
And I was made of solar flares, and lunar blasts,
and quasars speeding towards an early coffin.
An empty bottle held my days complete
So as you’ve surely guessed we didn’t mix.
She, a shattered glass, and I, the concrete,
just one to catch the pieces, a futile nix.
She told me once that she hadn’t known my face,
That my touch was numb, just another warming hand
That I kept the pieces unharmed in case,
in case the world went according to her plan.
She knelt while the sun fell out of the sky,
Like embers when a fire dies, her eyes closed.
Her soul retreating into solitude, but why!
So unrequited I sat alone, my heart disposed.
How painful to love someone so completely
And have them say to you, you’re protective flesh,
Something with a pulse to make the demons flee,
somewhere for her weary soul to intermesh.
However hot I made the candle’s flame,
Her soul relapsed to her times of woe
She fell asleep entwined within my frame
so slowly I’d detach from her tableau
Exasperation, my heart contends,
to beckon that woman that I’d once known.
Attempts failed from a house of glass again,
So I chose to learn how to play the piano.
The next time she crawled herself into a ball,
And spoilt her knees to pools of maroon,
I‘d ask that she would join me from her pall
And dare her smile to enter the room.
I’d start out with Chopin’s etudes
The scale in D minor I’d play that one first
Then move on to playing Chopin’s preludes
I believed her heart by now is prepared to burst
I’d wait for her to let her mask up and weep
but tears of pain? No those tears were surely not
She’d set her glasses aside, run up and leap
And embrace my soul with all that she’s got.
Behind that mask I knew she was there in wait,
A soul determined not to hurt anymore
An angel who’s been through troubled times of late,
searching for her wings and a lover’s rapport.
And I’d be that one to throw out her mask
To hold her close and pronounce our love
give me that task, oh Lord just give me that task
and I will make her spirits rise above.