My first born child died at four months, after many operations and suffering she endured with such courage and resolve. Two months after her death I had a dream, well it was no dream for me. But this visit saved me from myself, my grieving and pain finding peace and a knowing that life is eternal. And love, the purpose of life itself.
She sat upon a cot in a stark hospital room,
small yet pleasant enough,
and I arrived from floating above her bed,
confused yet so desperate to see her,
it all seemed right.
Her smile was radiant,
and the joy she exuded
gave my heart an injection of spirit,
and as I sat beside her,
she began to talk, to explain her death.
My grieving just dissipated,
watching her tiny four month old body fade,
my hearts demise, my pain exemplified,
yet here she was, teaching me,
explaining life as if a summer’s day in the park.
I held her diminutive body,
her soul as a giant enveloped me,
as love redefined itself,
my baby was not gone, but journeying on,
and my tears were for myself, my loss.
I remember the smell of the room,
the color of walls and her beaming face
so young yet wise, beyond my comprehension,
and I, her father, the student,
she a masterful soul filled with love.
All too soon I had to leave,
for this visit was not known to another,
and I didn’t belong there,
so I melded with her beautiful soul
and fell from sight, that night of my saving.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
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