And He, Too Lost to be Found
He hung his head, pensive,
despair like a thick fog,
his mind a bur
from the burden of thought,
too many, too fast,
and not one
a relief from the smothering,
the breathless affront of guilt.
Decisions echo like stones,
rattling down the side
of a bottomless ravine,
as if the soul, clothed in thorns,
felt every pang, clang of descent,
and regret formed a furrowed brow
the weight of a mountain,
escape impossible, relief improbable.
Like waves from a single drop
radiating outward,
gathering speed until a tsunami,
his brash remarks
had cut his love to the quick,
and in her hasty retreat,
he knew complete she was gone,
too hurt to fight, too bruised
to ever cite a second chance.
And he knew it,
lost in his ineptitude,
the cost too great to mediate himself,
not become a flagellant,
as despair did wear him like a dark cloak,
light-less and never to be found,
the love of his life
so brutally dismissed by a bitter tongue.
But learn he must, his transgressions,
his loss a heartbreak held,
a loss too great to forget,
a soul too weary to amend his broken life,
so he sits forlorn,
regret his dark grey hat,
his folly a sentence
yet to be endured.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
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His mind a blur? Regret is too often a sorrow we have to live with, a hurt so deep, so profound. We keep asking ourselves, why oh why did I send such hurting words to the one I love. Taking them back our stubborn pride disallows. We suffer for our tongue being too loose, too fast. Pride does fall us often to the dark abyss. We often suffer alone in our misery, full of regret and despair. I can’t tell you how I stubbornly regret saying goodbye to someone I should never have left. Tried to get her back, but too late, she flew my nest and alone again I was. What is it that PRIDE or stubbornness befalls men such as we? Woman wanted to stay in love with us, see us grow together, but alas we end it. Wanderers in the night, I guess we must keep experimenting with lives anew. A flagellant indeed Tony, I have scars on my heart and soul too many. You expressed all the feelings I too have felt with some of my relationships in this short life. To the grave alone I must go, no comfort of a woman’s bosom to lay my tired head upon. Well penned as always, expressive from the deep depths of your soul.
We relate to this scenario all too well my friend, and regret is a lasting echo. I conclude that even our stupidity and pride may engender a learning needed, and maybe we know less than we think. Whatever viewpoint, it happened and we are faced with a reality with which we must deal. Right or wrong as we see it, if it weren’t necessary, it would not have happened. That is the nature of life. Thanks my friend for you sharing response. cheers!