Has it been,
has it always been and I blind to it,
or is this my awakening,
this climbing spine thrill
that shudders heart and soul to know,
I am maligned
by this trepidation of ill,
this dark burden of doubt.
Always so definitive,
so actualized in thinking,
borders were just lines to cross,
horizons a figment of beauty,
and further was just a step
from where I was, no cause for alarm,
no uncertainty of harm
touched my pensive mind.
Now, it seems
my dreams somehow effected
by this lingering dark specter,
posing questions I had not considered,
and my heart sinks, as if weighted,
and I’m devastated,
to think what once flowed like honey
is now a question of ‘honey’ at all.
multiplies in the dim recesses of being,
takes a knowing and strangles it dry,
all those seeds I’ve been sewing,
now idle for all I fear,
and that one single state of doubt,
corrupts all and what I’m about,
in this flow of thought, awareness.
Hold on to dreams I must,
for they carry all that’s just in life,
and where I want to be,
free from the burdens of ‘perhaps’ and ‘maybe’,
for they in intent
can become malevolent,
and slay a heart complete,
when we let go of dreams.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
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