My Father’s Sliding Into a Place of No return
A furrowed brow too heavy to be unburdened,
and sweat the oozing of an incontinent pain,
when a mind in purgatory, cannot move,
neither direction an escape,
relief from the rain,
and what storms have taken toll,
what gnawing mental affront sustains,
such a tragic, hopeless denial of life.
I see him basking in a pallid sun,
trying to resurrect a long lost smile,
when muscles left in atrophy, relent,
refuse that extra mile;
as thoughts like dark ominous shadows,
waft in and out of consciousness,
past so singed in fires long put out,
yet the smell of burning flesh accounts
the pain that never ends.
A grandchild touches him,
and for a moment his focus changes,
a happy bright face so foreign,
but not enough to rearrange him,
as he returns to his tunneled view,
the world slipping far from mind,
darkness a weighted cloud that follows him,
keeps the light from entering his kind.
In moments of clarity, he sees what he’s become,
and tears begin to cloud what light
can enter this sour course, this constant glum,
and devastation fills his void,
pain more prominent that before,
life as if to oppress him,
in the squalor of his thoughts.
No words can draw him out,
no consolation seems to relieve this burden,
and I can but sit beside him,
in hope I can share some weight,
but I’m certain it makes no difference,
for he is lost of mind, his soul waning,
and my heart breaks,
as if the end I’m waiting.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
Philosophical Poetry: Book coming soon
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It is so very saddening to see a life slipping away. Your presence and strength must be helping him, even if you think he is not fully aware. X
Thanks Phyllis, Dad actually died in ’92. He had lung cancer and we found out also brain cancer. He was suffering from depression anyway and his demise was hard to watch, especially in the earlier times when he occasionally had some clarity and realized what was happening to him. Very sad, and the images still linger in my mind. Cheers!
My Dad died in ’92. I know what you mean about the images still lingering. Take care, Tony.
It is so bad watching someone,you love wither away and you stand there helpless to do anything. Id hace to think that dad knew you were there at the end and that it was ok to pass into the next life. So sad and well written Tony. ~Paul
Much appreciated Paul, it is so sad but just a part of life. Cheers!