I stare outside through my office window, unwilling to go to the shed, my once favorite place of thought and contemplation. The chain and padlock that secure the doors make an ominous statement of rejection, and I’m at crossed purposes, wanting my inner thoughts and serene times back, yet feeling a strange fear for what has transpired.
The heat is oppressive today, Beast half buried in a hole in the earth he created under the house. I guess its the coolest place other than standing in front of the air conditioner. The sky is clear and the sun feels as if one moment out there and the flesh would become brittle and fall to pieces. I love summer, but today there are no bird calls, no sounds at all, just the weight of dire heat.
I sit before my computer and begin to write, a fan full on but a meter away, just to cool the skin, doused in sweat. But the work must continue, regardless.
What is ‘desire’, if not a statement of unhappiness, the current circumstances not up to expectation. The irony with desire, is once it is quenched, what then? Perhaps we then desire something else and the process goes on. Happiness is then the acceptance of now, not desiring anything, for that would cancel out happiness with dissatisfaction. Strangely we spend our lives continually desiring what we feel we need or don’t have in life, and when we attain it, become dissatisfied, for the resolution does not create happiness, nor does money, cars, clothes, property or any level of lifestyle.
What creates happiness is a decision to accept and live in the present, with all that it affords. We are either happy or not, nothing makes us so. Fulfilling desire is a transitory experience and wanes quickly, and whatever the reward, its value quickly dissipates as it becomes the norm. Searching continually for greener pastures is a real problem in life, as it teaches us there is no happiness at all, just the pursuit of it.
Desire must be seen for what it is, an experience of which yields a fleeting reward, certainly not a lifetime of happiness. Sexual desire is about innate responses when seeking a mate for procreation, but of course today sex has become so maligned as to represent culture in a purely hedonistic state, and what it indeed represents far from its original intention.
Again perspective is what we are discussing here and from a philosophical point of view, desire brings no reward except an admission of unhappiness. We may spend a lifetime striving and then at the end what do we expect? Do we expect a reward that revalues our life, makes our striving all worth while or do we understand that it is the doing that reaps reward, not any result. Again I’ll say it: happiness is an acceptance of now, with all it offers. If we cannot be happy in the moment, how can we be happy in any future; what will be different?
Desire then must be brought into perspective and balanced within life, in the knowledge that nothing will make us happy, that is our choice regardless of anything else. We may so easily become slaves to our desires, at their beckoned whim, and when this happens our lives are twisted into a bitter imbalance, the self a mere puppet to our unhappiness.
So imbue you life with hope, and learn to accept the present as a happiness for living, regardless of circumstance, wealth or possessions. For they are all superficial and happiness can never reside within them. The decision is always ours.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
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