In Matters of Uncertainty
Ever falling through a mist of uncertainty,
I, awash with qualms unjustified,
sort through my fears,
each one a travesty yet still impinging
upon my sentient mind,
reason somehow escaped to darker realms,
as falter I may to myself in doubt,
that part of me that loses face
when I choose to delve.
Fragile I must be,
to have drawn myself into such speculation,
questioning my roots of understanding
and coming up short,
my uncertainty a refection
of a deep-seeded failure of belief,
of a limited potential based on
a faithless crack in my otherwise healthy husk,
a shadow of my ego’s prideful self-evaluation.
Yet here it remains,
after a lifetime of contradiction,
ability the mark of my service to my craft
and commitment long made to my chosen path in life,
one that verifies my place, my astute perspective,
so that wisdom may deem me worthy of light;
but regardless of all of this, doubt,
like a slithering serpent,
finds its way into the mind, to vanquish my certainty.
Perhaps doubt, is a balance of consideration,
a grounding point so as to not let ego find flight,
and perhaps my concern is a blessing,
humility being a prized and apt investment,
a privileged attribute of higher consciousness,
certainty a grasp of fools,
and may be my deliberations are futile,
in that worth is not conciliatory, rather inherent,
and life is valued from not who we are, but what we do.
Tony DeLorger © 2017
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Doubt can sure stop us in mid-track sometimes. I love it when a solid thought or emotion comes to me and it feels so right that I can go forward with confidence. In your last stanza I was surprised to read “Perhaps doubt, is a balance of consideration,
a grounding point so as to not let ego find flight,”
I never saw doubt in that light and it seems a good thing to remember. Great work as always Tony.
Glad you appreciated the thoughts Phyllis, we often so easily adhere to past without furthering our perspective. Take care my friend.