In a Troubled Mind…where even dreams are lost
I walked along the road, unerringly,
the dust of my misgivings clouding behind,
as sweat, the burden of my travail
finds comfort in a crusty floor,
drops like melting thoughts infused.
The road is long and scattered with debris,
as is my mind scant of dreams, vying,
yet failed behind my gait,
before they could find purchase in my reason,
my steps out of season.
Lost yet found direction, I tarry,
steps arduous, labored yet ongoing,
and days and nights transpire,
raging fire dawns and silken studded nights,
but still my mind withholds its faculty.
I can feel that pumping,
heart thumping, surging blood my recognition,
my connection to reality, albeit tenuous,
as thoughts pervade my longing silence,
desperate to find solace, even in fantasy.
A bird swoops by as if to question,
to gain a closer look at a dead man walking,
a void and helpless mind a tangle,
and I wonder if even it knows
the disparity of my own inane conclusions.
The sky is heavy, as if
that deep rich blue bends under weight,
‘the sky is falling’ echoes in some distant fate,
but is it mine, my anxiety maligned
by an ill-considered truth, I’ve yet to meet.
Woe is me, so deep in abandonment,
so wallowing in self-ineptitude,
I can barely face the path ahead, for am I dead,
and know not I the fading of my life,
so drenched in strife, unsaid.
Or perhaps I am just mulling darkness,
self-abuse my ruse, until I recognize that light,
that follows me wherever I reside,
yet I attached to darkness singed with pride,
will not let go, or accept my plight.
Tony DeLorger © 2017