Forgiveness, A Gift I Gave Myself – Learning How To Forgive

Forgiveness

I forgive you not because it excuses your behavior. I forgive you because – I decided not to let it destroy my heart any longer. I was ashamed of the power you had over me even from the grave. One thing I learned as a young boy is that nothing good at all comes from abusing alcohol. Lesson’s for all those touched by this madness are sometimes never learned, other times it takes a lifetime. My forgiveness does not mean I have forgotten all the hurt, it means I have chosen to let go of the hurt. That moment that I decided to forgive you, I set my heart and mind free.

Forgiveness

“I Forgive you”
Looking back sometimes is hard to do,
My hair is gray now – difficult, but now I forgive you.

Hatred has finally disappeared, faded away,
Fifty plus years later I think I am okay.

Dad when you drank – demons you tried to slay,
It never worked, they never stayed away.

With words and fist you made our life hell,
Vodka was your demon – you were under its spell.

Nothing ever good came from abusing the drink,
Had you, took over you so you could not think.

Your life ended, spring of nineteen eighty one,
No apologies for the things that you had done.

The years have flown by, now I ask for none,
Within myself – I forgive you, from your youngest son.
Poem by Kurt James

 

Kurt James © 2016
Kurt James first novel “Rocky Mountain Reckoning ” now is available in print form or for Kindle on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads, Walmart and many other stores that carry the books you love to read.

Kurt James “Rocky Mountain Reckoning”
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Kurt James

Kurt James was born and raised in the foothills of the Colorado Rocky Mountains. With family roots in western Kansas and having lived in South Dakota for 20 years Kurt naturally had become an old western and nature enthusiast. Over the years Kurt has become one of Colorado’s prominent nature photographer’s through his brand name of Midnight Wind Photography. His poetry has been featured in the Denver Post, PM Magazine and on 9NEWS in Denver, Colorado. Kurt is also a feature writer for HubPages and Creative Exiles with the article’s focused on Colorado history, ghost towns, outlaws, and poetry. Inspired at a young age by writers such as Jack London, Louis L’Amour and Max Brand have formed Kurt’s natural ability as a storyteller. Kurt has published 5 novels all based in and around the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Using the Midnight Wind Publishing brand Kurt has also released a poetry collection - Poetry and Thoughts of a Wandering Man - (Uniquely Colorado edition) and now this collection - Poetry and Reflections of a Wandering Man (Random Thoughts edition) all are available in print or download on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads and other fine bookstores. And a few shady bookstores as well. Kurt is working on his 6th Colorado adventure tale novel “Conner’s Saga”.
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Kurt James

Kurt James was born and raised in the foothills of the Colorado Rocky Mountains. With family roots in western Kansas and having lived in South Dakota for 20 years Kurt naturally had become an old western and nature enthusiast. Over the years Kurt has become one of Colorado’s prominent nature photographer’s through his brand name of Midnight Wind Photography. His poetry has been featured in the Denver Post, PM Magazine and on 9NEWS in Denver, Colorado. Kurt is also a feature writer for HubPages and Creative Exiles with the article’s focused on Colorado history, ghost towns, outlaws, and poetry. Inspired at a young age by writers such as Jack London, Louis L’Amour and Max Brand have formed Kurt’s natural ability as a storyteller. Kurt has published 5 novels all based in and around the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Using the Midnight Wind Publishing brand Kurt has also released a poetry collection - Poetry and Thoughts of a Wandering Man - (Uniquely Colorado edition) and now this collection - Poetry and Reflections of a Wandering Man (Random Thoughts edition) all are available in print or download on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads and other fine bookstores. And a few shady bookstores as well. Kurt is working on his 6th Colorado adventure tale novel “Conner’s Saga”.

12 thoughts on “Forgiveness, A Gift I Gave Myself – Learning How To Forgive

  • December 10, 2016 at 7:53 PM
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    And that’s all we can do but forgive those who hurt us, for in not forgiving we tether ourselves to that hurt, and that is a huge limitation. Nicely penned and poignant of forgiveness. great work Kurt.

    Reply
  • December 10, 2016 at 8:08 PM
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    Thank you Tony for those very fine points and thoughts…

    Reply
  • December 10, 2016 at 9:39 PM
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    To be able to forgive can heal and cleanse the soul, for it is not accepting the hurt, it is just letting go. Great work, Kurt, of not just the memoir and poem, but the forgiving also.

    Reply
  • December 11, 2016 at 2:18 AM
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    Thanks Phyllis, for your kind words and understanding.

    Reply
  • December 11, 2016 at 9:25 AM
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    Alcoholism is a horrible disease and i am sorry it affected you so negatively. But you did the right thing if not for him then definitely for you. The forgiveness part is the biggest stepping stone you will take in the cleansing of yourself. Nice piece Kurt~Paul

    Reply
    • December 11, 2016 at 4:44 PM
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      Thanks Paul for stopping by and leaving such thoughtful insight.

      Reply
  • December 11, 2016 at 11:21 PM
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    I can attest to the destruction unforgiveness can cause in one’s own soul. This was very powerful Kurt.

    Reply
    • December 12, 2016 at 7:32 PM
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      What sad Lori is how many people can relate to this – that is what is powerful.. thank you for stopping by.

      Reply
  • December 12, 2016 at 5:59 AM
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    Kurt , you speak for so many here , thank you . though I understand that eternal emptiness well and whether we forgive or not , there is still a terrible cost for all . My father – I forgave , I forgave myself too and yet we sometimes carry on the same addictive needs and shadows in our psyches , in our personalities , in our memories . Great write my friend.

    Reply
    • December 12, 2016 at 7:33 PM
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      Thank you ED for those so very true insights and thoughts

      Reply
  • December 13, 2016 at 2:42 PM
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    Forgiveness is often the hardest thing..but in doing so we are gifting ourselves freedom of mind..I am so glad you were brave enough to forgive..an emotive write Kurt..

    Reply
    • December 13, 2016 at 7:13 PM
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      Thank you for dropping by Anjana and thank you for your kind words.

      Reply

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