The Ebb and Flow of a Contrary Life

a Contrary Life
The Ebb and Flow of a Contrary Life

Being empathetic, intuitive, moralistic and depressive is not an easy life. In fact being surrounded by people, feeling and knowing their problems and suffering the lows of depression disorders, life can be excruciatingly painful. For this reason I avoid crowds, don’t like gatherings or groups of people more than half a dozen and for the most part I live a reclusive life. It is not just by choice but necessity I prefer to remain in a quiet environment where input is understood and expected and negativity is limited.

The sheer panic of feeling the confusion and problems of others has become too much of a burden, whereas in my younger years I invited the connections and did what I could to help people. The reality after many years is most people don’t want to be helped, and in fact need the circumstances they experience to attain some sort of lesson necessary in their development. What I also didn’t realize was that I was being adversely effected by the connections, a small part of me bearing the burden of those I was helping. You may say, well all you have to do is learn how to switch off and then be effective without the negativity. I off course learned and tried that, but when all is said and done, I do not wish to live a life cut back or limited by what I can feel or experience. To be numb to the world is far worse than being over-sensitive. So I chose to remain as God intended and to then limit my environment best I could to manage my experiences.

This may sound self-indulgent, perhaps even egotistical, but believe me when I tell you it is neither, simply me understanding my strengths and limitations and utilizing my ability to uphold my creative life at a peak of its ensuing. What holds this soul together is the ability to be creative, to focus unencumbered for whatever time available and maintain that intensity. It is a question I am often asked…”How can you be so prolific and maintain such a high quality of work in your writing?” The answer is simple, I have learned over many years how to connect to what I call the ‘creative stream’. It may sound a little esoteric, but a simple meditation and connection sees me able to write for eight plus hours at a time, the outpourings like an avalanche of words. I rarely edit and seldom do I trash a poem, find it without substance. Each work starts with a phrase or word and the writing just flows. I have never experienced writers block, and even if I’m not in the mood, I read the last poem I wrote and all just fits into place.

This talent also extends to writing on demand, having written many works requested by people in a myriad of forms, and of course I grew up in advertising and copy-writing is second nature. This blessing has in many ways changed my life, having the ability to distract the negative influence of imbalanced brain chemistry and nourish the soul with positive affirmations of my beliefs and understandings about life. All these subjects are reflected in my poetry, my love for nature and the moral compass within which I undertake my life. Depression is a daily battle, yet with creativity taking so much of my time, the depressive effects are minimized and I lead a happy and fulfilling life filled with much joy and laughter. A sense of humor I believe is the most important prerequisite of life: without it life is plain dull.

It may sound closed, this life I lead, but on the contrary, it is controlled to output as much of my creativity as possible. I have been married three times, I have five children, I have a huge diversity of work skills and I have traveled the world, seen life in many arenas and appreciate every breath I’m given. I have no regrets and I am surrounded by loving family. Who could ask for anything more?

Tony DeLorger © 2016

Tony DeLorger

Full time author, freelance writer, poet and blogger since 1999. Twenty one published works, past winner of 'Poet of the Year' on HubPages, 'Poem of the Year' on The Creative Exiles, writer for Allpoetry.com, Google+, tonydwtf.blogspot.com.au
videos on YouTube and book sales on website thoughtsforabeautifulmind.com, Amazon and digitalprintaustralia.com.au/bookstore

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Tony DeLorger

Full time author, freelance writer, poet and blogger since 1999. Twenty one published works, past winner of 'Poet of the Year' on HubPages, 'Poem of the Year' on The Creative Exiles, writer for Allpoetry.com, Google+, tonydwtf.blogspot.com.au videos on YouTube and book sales on website thoughtsforabeautifulmind.com, Amazon and digitalprintaustralia.com.au/bookstore

6 thoughts on “The Ebb and Flow of a Contrary Life

  • September 24, 2016 at 6:45 AM
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    With a few differences I felt like I was reading my own life. You are much more prolific in writing, but the need to live a quiet life and not be in crowds is also necessary for me. When I was younger I did well with helping others as you do, yet as I grew older the burden of empathy for the pain and sorrow of others was too much. Tony, I read somewhere you wrote something like “an invitation to know me” and this epistle sure opens that up. I so understand all you say in this piece. I feel a deeper admiration for you than ever. Well done in this writing and in fully understanding yourself. Well done.

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  • September 24, 2016 at 8:03 AM
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    Thanks Phyllis, I’m not sure why I wrote this, but most of it was in a dream last night, so that was enough for me to reiterate. I often write things in my sleep, then recount as best I can the next day. I guess I’m weird, but that’s just what happens. Glad you appreciated the expression. I generally have an attitude of openness and complete disclosure; it serves for a better and clearer understanding. Cheers!

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  • September 24, 2016 at 7:46 PM
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    Yes, but part of a painting I painted in 1999, with my now ex-wife and son James. Back then youth was still on my side. Lol.

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  • September 24, 2016 at 8:14 PM
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    Thanks Phyllis

    Reply

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