Love expressed …
Love for one sometimes grows slowly, from acquaintance to friendship. As we begin to know each other better there comes a day when a realization hits, and love is born.
How to express the feelings and when? Are my words to be trusted, or will I become forlorn?
When I was a young adult, expressing love was not easy, was not brave enough.
I feared rejection, did not have any confidence in myself, and so I said nothing till he did. Always waited, thinking it was not my place to speak up and confess love.
I was under the influence, in my young days, that to be shy, naive and quiet was a sign of a well-bred woman, men found that endearing and attractive. So, quiet and speechless I was till love was expressed to me. Then I found the courage to respond and trust.
I look back now and realize my upbringing was to make the man feel in control. It was not appropriate for a young woman to be outspoken or courageous. It was the man who must lead and control the relationship.
Years went by and I found myself lacking my own strengths. I was weak and unable to speak up, unable to express my own feelings or needs. Something was not right, I could feel it. Was I to always be the weak one? Polite and quiet? Did I not have the right, or the courage to be strong?
Now where am I? I have learned to reach out and express my feelings, to somehow touch the heart of one I have ever growing affection and love for. Love expressed came from my heart. Each day, each contact takes me deeper into love for him, so I speak up and express these feelings. Do I expect the same in return? No, not at all. Love should not come with expectations.
If I do not hear similar expressions back to me, then I step back and give him room, the space he needs. My love expressed was true. Because I pulled back a ways, that does not mean my expressions were false or that I lied, or that I play games. Love is not a game, it is a commitment. I do not lie. I speak what is in my heart and my love is unconditional.
Does it make me turn away and forget my love for him if he does not feel the same?
No, I do not run. I stay where my heart is. I am still able to love without being crushed
if he does not love me. He has his own ways his own life. And I do not expect him to love me just because I love him. Love cannot be forced.
Love is the most precious gift of all and must be given freely, from the heart and soul.
© Copyright 2016 All Rights Reserved Phyllis Doyle Burns
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