I Haven’t Finished Yet!
If life tapped me on the shoulder and told me its time to go, I would be devastated. Not from my own loss but that I haven’t finished yet. I’ve not written my soul upon a page complete, I’ve not learned enough to have no anger left and I haven’t loved enough for me to accept my potential worth. All this would plague my necrotic vessel, lying there on a slab, void of anything left of value. And above a soul floating, wandering in vacant confusion for all I have not finished in my life. It is my fear above all things that transition comes too early and this life is incomplete from my intention and perspective. Of course its not my call, but it would rather aggravate me knowing there were words I hadn’t used, ideas I hadn’t explored and loves I hadn’t met yet.
I may be greedy, expect too much from the life I have ultimately driven into the ground. Yet, the idea of leaving too soon does bother my ever-thinking brain. I’m not lazy and I’m not trying to score more time than I’m worth. But I am writing incessantly all the thoughts and beauty I can fit into a life without removing the concept of sleep. So I do ask in serious and respectable plea, that I can remain long enough to get this monkey off my back. This quest of writing is my love, my burden and my epiphany.
Coming to terms…
We all come and go, it is our place in life. This cycle I accept unequivocally, yet the idea that I could not finish a sentence, is appalling and quite disturbing. Writers pride themselves on expression, finished expression. Oh please do not take me mid sentence: pondering a word I just can’t recall or when I’m scribbling down an idea that would have been my best novel yet. It’s not much to ask, really, just neater that way, like finally finishing a book and every plot and sub-plot is resolved. So when the reaper comes and points that bony finger at me, beckoning me to follow, I may just say, “I haven’t finished yet”, and keep on typing.
Tony DeLorger © 2016
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Oh my gosh, Tony, you so wonderfully express your passion for writing and life. It is so admirable that you take on your very skillful writing as a joy and intended path in life. I see this as coming from a very spiritual perspective. I love this memoir. Well done, indeed.
Whoops! I did not finish so have to edit: I very much like your pic. Nice.
Glad you enjoyed it Phyllis, hoping I get the last word in. lol
I tell my kids all the time that I am not afraid of dying, but that I am afraid of not having enough time to finish what I am meant to do. Awesome thoughts Tony!
Glad you related Kurt, writers are never finished. lol
I can relate to this wonderfully penned memoir, Tony. I too would hate to go with business or writing unfinished. I hate leaving anything half done. Once I start it is so much neater and more satisfying to tie up all the ends so to speak. I started writing seriously late in life and am still learning…so I need a lot more time to be as good as I possibly can. I enjoyed reading your thoughts.
Much appreciated John, I knew you’d relate. Cheers!
Wonderfully expressed. Certainly can relate to the passion of writing. There is one compensation and that is that the words we pen make us immortal for they will still be around long after we are not. Until then I am sure that the passion of writing, the constant inspiration and the whispers of muses will keep you around for a very long time Tony.
Let’s hope Rasma. glad you enjoyed it. Take care.
So nice to just hear your thoughts free flowing outside of poetic form. Your mission, your passion to have finality, resolve. Love this, as speaks much of the many contemplations you bring forth, for all of us to ponder in your work. Enjoyed it, and I dare say that bony finger wouldn’t dare interrupt the beauty of your determination.
Best,
Mel
Thanks so much Mel, glad you enjoyed it. And when that reaper turns up, I’ll be like the proverbial cat clinging to the doorway: I just won’t go, haven’t finished yet! lol Take care.